for The Oxymoron Beauty12/16/2011 c4 LcT514
As a reader, I would like to say that the story so far isn't as bad as you make it in your author's note. I actually enjoyed it and was hoping for more! I guess it depends on each individual's tastes, but I liked how you ended chapter 3 amicably and it already reveals a budding friendship-possibly-more relationship through their light humor they exchanged. If the story isn't swerving into the way you'd want it to, it would be a good experience to just continue the plot and see how it goes from there (since this is only the mere beginning, you should be able to work in the "small details" of your characters as you continue your storyline, even if they are added later on) and you can always make a story version #2 if you're really unsatisfied with how it's turning out. Thanks for the read! Looking forward to future updates if you are planning to continue this story!
As a reader, I would like to say that the story so far isn't as bad as you make it in your author's note. I actually enjoyed it and was hoping for more! I guess it depends on each individual's tastes, but I liked how you ended chapter 3 amicably and it already reveals a budding friendship-possibly-more relationship through their light humor they exchanged. If the story isn't swerving into the way you'd want it to, it would be a good experience to just continue the plot and see how it goes from there (since this is only the mere beginning, you should be able to work in the "small details" of your characters as you continue your storyline, even if they are added later on) and you can always make a story version #2 if you're really unsatisfied with how it's turning out. Thanks for the read! Looking forward to future updates if you are planning to continue this story!
11/15/2009 c3 
3dontneedyou
This seems like a wonderful story! I love Rafael already. =]
Wow, I can't believe her friends ditched her for that. What kind of friends are they? Arse-holes much? Haha. =]
Anyways, I'm enjoying this story so far, and I'm really hoping you update soon! This chapter in particular got me hooked. ;)
Update soon!
3dontneedyouThis seems like a wonderful story! I love Rafael already. =]
Wow, I can't believe her friends ditched her for that. What kind of friends are they? Arse-holes much? Haha. =]
Anyways, I'm enjoying this story so far, and I'm really hoping you update soon! This chapter in particular got me hooked. ;)
Update soon!
9/7/2009 c3 7LivesforLove
It's a little predictable. I mean really? (btw I'm just being honest) It's all pretty cliche to me. I knew what was going to happen the entire time. And the last line was poor written. "At that moment I could tell we would be friends." Friends? Really? What is this? Sesame Street? You should have ended with something mysterious like:
"But there was something about his smile that made me feel cautious"
or sexy like:
"And in that moment, I could only think of Rafael in one way."
7LivesforLoveIt's a little predictable. I mean really? (btw I'm just being honest) It's all pretty cliche to me. I knew what was going to happen the entire time. And the last line was poor written. "At that moment I could tell we would be friends." Friends? Really? What is this? Sesame Street? You should have ended with something mysterious like:
"But there was something about his smile that made me feel cautious"
or sexy like:
"And in that moment, I could only think of Rafael in one way."
9/7/2009 c3 1monYY
i like the story it looks interesting i really liked i so update soon and you put chapter 3 on chapter 2
1monYYi like the story it looks interesting i really liked i so update soon and you put chapter 3 on chapter 2
9/6/2009 c1 4lenavis
looks interesting...although unfortunately you've got some tense errors in your prologue, which is something you might want to fix.
i'll keep reading though, looks like a nice start C:
4lenavislooks interesting...although unfortunately you've got some tense errors in your prologue, which is something you might want to fix.
i'll keep reading though, looks like a nice start C:
7/11/2009 c1 maxineee
aw. i was smiling when i read this. aha.
a humorous smile. so i was really looking forward to the next chapter, but there was none! lol.
so yeah. i'm waiting.
aw. i was smiling when i read this. aha.
a humorous smile. so i was really looking forward to the next chapter, but there was none! lol.
so yeah. i'm waiting.
7/11/2009 c1 6cityflux
I'm going to take the initiative and get the reviews going.
This first chapter sounds promising, but I wonder if it's a chapter or more of a prologue? It seems awfully short for a full-length chapter, but if it's a mere prologue then I'd say it's intriguing. Keep in mind to use words ('thirty' instead of '30') instead of numbers.
This sounds like the average, cliched girl-hates-boy-then-boy-hates-girl-and-they-fall-in-love story, and if you're not careful it WILL fall into that category sooner or later. It would not be a bad thing (cliches are fun to read, sometimes) unless you're aiming for a non-cliche.
All in all, I like this so far. Update soon (with lengthier chapters!).
- Tetrys
6cityfluxI'm going to take the initiative and get the reviews going.
This first chapter sounds promising, but I wonder if it's a chapter or more of a prologue? It seems awfully short for a full-length chapter, but if it's a mere prologue then I'd say it's intriguing. Keep in mind to use words ('thirty' instead of '30') instead of numbers.
This sounds like the average, cliched girl-hates-boy-then-boy-hates-girl-and-they-fall-in-love story, and if you're not careful it WILL fall into that category sooner or later. It would not be a bad thing (cliches are fun to read, sometimes) unless you're aiming for a non-cliche.
All in all, I like this so far. Update soon (with lengthier chapters!).
- Tetrys