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for The Hive Swarm

9/14/2009 c2 3balloon15
excellent chapter, set up the story well..

looking forward to some action..
7/21/2009 c3 2Michael Howard
Good chapter. I think you have a talent for natural sounding dialogue.
7/20/2009 c4 spartan200
i really enjoyed your stories would u please read mine and review. you have a very good imagination keep writing
7/20/2009 c2 Michael Howard
I'll start with a few quibbles. Why did it take six years after the development of 'interstellar travel' to colonize Mars? Usually that happens well before the invention of faster than light space ships. Second, will people still be typing on computers in the 22nd Century? That seems awfully anachronistic to me...

Now the good news. I really like what I've read so far and find your stated premise very intriguing. Looking forward to what comes next.
7/15/2009 c2 414The Story Crafter
Before I get right to reviewing I'd like to say I think it's absolutely cool you use your military experience to write, and that I thought I was the only one who liked English in highschool!

The story itself is very well constructed so far. First of all it foreshadows big events that will happen in the future, immediatly drawing a reader to want to stay connected with the piece. The prologue is absolutely genius. Simple but yet effective at the same time.

Amundsen is a great chapter because it is spring loaded with suspense. Here we are all waiting for these Unidentified Objects, of course we are gonna read the next chapter. The character interaction is smooth and natural. The planet is creative and you can visualize it pretty well.

Out of personal curiosity I was wondering if there are any animals on this planets? Natural animals that live there, or if humans brought any with them? Other than that it's good. If you added a little more description of the planet you'd be completely set.

I'd like to chat about your writing if you get a chance sometime, I know being in the military you might not have a chance, I've been on an online community for about 7 years now made up of mostly military men and woman so I understand.

Once again it's hope to talk to you sometime! Keep up the good work!

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