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7/21/2009 c1 xoxo evee
The title captured my attention and the poem won you my respect. I can imagine the scene as I read it. Moulin Rouge comes to mind. A harlot in red dances and entertains men in the center of stage. Though the men know they are either cheating on their wives or girlfriends, they simple don't care because they are in a trance from watching the lovely harlot swinging her hips in graceful and decieving movements, as the "Snake in the Garden of Eden."

Lovely work.

Hope to read more!

7/17/2009 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
I really like how ballsy this piece is; it’s so in your face and accusatory. We’ve all been in the shoes of this narrator, seeing the facade while others seem dreamily oblivious. I can put several faces from my own life against the words of this piece. Excellent work here.

I particularly enjoyed: ‘coquettish undulations’ I love the word coquette in general but when you pair it with undulations which makes me think of friction and pulsating rhythmus it’s especially strong and contrasting. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

7/17/2009 c1 8LostInMe
The poem is fantastic, and I couldn't agree more. Well done.

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