for Mother Nature6/16/2013 c4 
4Rachael With an A
Wow, the haiku form is really effective for this!
I love how it's all centered around nature, you could do loads of these.
Maybe you could do the sun or the sky next?
I really liked these, they're very well-done :)
4Rachael With an AWow, the haiku form is really effective for this!
I love how it's all centered around nature, you could do loads of these.
Maybe you could do the sun or the sky next?
I really liked these, they're very well-done :)
10/21/2011 c1 123A Fire Rose
Great imagery! I'm not sure what makes stars wintry - if it's during winter, or if it's their ivory color (or lackthereof) - but it's lovely!
123A Fire RoseGreat imagery! I'm not sure what makes stars wintry - if it's during winter, or if it's their ivory color (or lackthereof) - but it's lovely!
6/9/2011 c4 15Poisoned Twinkles
This simple description of the moon leaves such a lovely image in my head~
15Poisoned TwinklesThis simple description of the moon leaves such a lovely image in my head~
3/19/2011 c4 2dragonflydreamer
Great use of alliteration/consonance! The repetition of the s sounds gives this a strong sense of unity.
I also like your subject, especially in the context of a nature collection. A satellite isn't exactly nature, but you describe it as if it were. A lot of curious connotations there.
I think my favorite word here is "alone." While most of this describes a physical scene, this hints at a lot of emotions the physical could symbolize.
Thanks for the collection. I thoroughly enjoyed reading these!
~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
2dragonflydreamerGreat use of alliteration/consonance! The repetition of the s sounds gives this a strong sense of unity.
I also like your subject, especially in the context of a nature collection. A satellite isn't exactly nature, but you describe it as if it were. A lot of curious connotations there.
I think my favorite word here is "alone." While most of this describes a physical scene, this hints at a lot of emotions the physical could symbolize.
Thanks for the collection. I thoroughly enjoyed reading these!
~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
3/19/2011 c3 dragonflydreamer
I don't like the word "gushing." Maybe it's just a personal thing, but it sounds weird almost...childish I guess is the word. Not serious, anyway. I thought it was a week way to start.
I do like the phrase "winding meanders," though, especially the use of meanders as a noun. Interesting phrasing and I like the image it makes.
I also like how this has a sort of push and pull of emotions. The first line is powerful, the second feels more relaxed, and the last one is powerful again. A lot of emotional control for something of this length.
I don't like the word "gushing." Maybe it's just a personal thing, but it sounds weird almost...childish I guess is the word. Not serious, anyway. I thought it was a week way to start.
I do like the phrase "winding meanders," though, especially the use of meanders as a noun. Interesting phrasing and I like the image it makes.
I also like how this has a sort of push and pull of emotions. The first line is powerful, the second feels more relaxed, and the last one is powerful again. A lot of emotional control for something of this length.
3/19/2011 c2 dragonflydreamer
I think you meant "Heaven's" in the first line.
I love the image of the second line. "Painting grief" - such an interesting phrase and a curious blend of emotions. Obviously it has a lot of sorrow, but you also tie so much beauty to it.
This ending I do like. The use of the word "suddenly" is a bit ironic considering what I said last chapter. Very creative way to use that odd flow to your advantage.
I think you meant "Heaven's" in the first line.
I love the image of the second line. "Painting grief" - such an interesting phrase and a curious blend of emotions. Obviously it has a lot of sorrow, but you also tie so much beauty to it.
This ending I do like. The use of the word "suddenly" is a bit ironic considering what I said last chapter. Very creative way to use that odd flow to your advantage.
3/19/2011 c1 dragonflydreamer
Great word choice. Especially right at the start, "tranquil" and "descends" are very powerful words.
I'm torn about the last line. I love the meaning and how it's directed straight at the reader, but I tend not to like when the last line of a haiku is its own sentence because it does odd things to the flow.
~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
Great word choice. Especially right at the start, "tranquil" and "descends" are very powerful words.
I'm torn about the last line. I love the meaning and how it's directed straight at the reader, but I tend not to like when the last line of a haiku is its own sentence because it does odd things to the flow.
~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
10/23/2010 c4 4HighOnBrokenWings
This one seemed to have meaning beyond the moon. I'm not sure why...yeah. Maybe not :D
4HighOnBrokenWingsThis one seemed to have meaning beyond the moon. I'm not sure why...yeah. Maybe not :D
10/23/2010 c3 HighOnBrokenWings
I didn't like this one as much, I'm not sure why. It was still exceptionally well written, and beautiful, but it was kind of lacking that something extra for me.
I didn't like this one as much, I'm not sure why. It was still exceptionally well written, and beautiful, but it was kind of lacking that something extra for me.
10/23/2010 c2 HighOnBrokenWings
The last line added a sense of urgency to the whole piece, and kind of had a different rhythm, even though it was still five syllables like the last line.
The last line added a sense of urgency to the whole piece, and kind of had a different rhythm, even though it was still five syllables like the last line.
10/23/2010 c1 HighOnBrokenWings
I was trying to pick a favourite line, but the whole thing was just so beautiful, and it all came together with wonderful imagery. I really especially liked the idea in the centre line. I thought that was especially nice :)
I was trying to pick a favourite line, but the whole thing was just so beautiful, and it all came together with wonderful imagery. I really especially liked the idea in the centre line. I thought that was especially nice :)