
8/23/2009 c1
69with eyes looking up
oh oh oh oh. this is my favorite. absolutely. it's lovely and perfect and beautiful and it gives the power of need justice.
thank you. :)

oh oh oh oh. this is my favorite. absolutely. it's lovely and perfect and beautiful and it gives the power of need justice.
thank you. :)
8/7/2009 c1
4Keree
I don't like Susihi (or however you spell that...), but if I pretend I didn't read the title... that poem shows me an endless list of posibilities.

I don't like Susihi (or however you spell that...), but if I pretend I didn't read the title... that poem shows me an endless list of posibilities.
8/7/2009 c1
353Louis Denair
This is very swift, ripped poetry. A viable form to present angst, I suppose. The tone is fittingly emotional. I was drawn in. The sentiment is known to us all. It's nice to see the craving for another being portrayed as a case of air deficit. Is long exposure to loneliness a form of death by asphyxiation? Perhaps. Interesting.

This is very swift, ripped poetry. A viable form to present angst, I suppose. The tone is fittingly emotional. I was drawn in. The sentiment is known to us all. It's nice to see the craving for another being portrayed as a case of air deficit. Is long exposure to loneliness a form of death by asphyxiation? Perhaps. Interesting.
8/7/2009 c1
9SaphireTsukikage
eek that brings back unwanted memories and emotions. one again, your poetry is beautifully emotional

eek that brings back unwanted memories and emotions. one again, your poetry is beautifully emotional
7/28/2009 c1
34Ditch of Glass
this sounds really well thought out, and again your vocabulary brings the story to life.
the way you turned everthing into something else was really creative, too.
i am now subscribing to you. keep it up!

this sounds really well thought out, and again your vocabulary brings the story to life.
the way you turned everthing into something else was really creative, too.
i am now subscribing to you. keep it up!
7/28/2009 c1 Samuel Harrisson
So since you were kind enough to review my work, I figured I would review yours. This is amazing. I don't really know what to say but it's beautiful. The first line got me hooked in and it never let go, even to the very last of it. This was amazing. Keep up the good work!
-Samuel Harrisson
So since you were kind enough to review my work, I figured I would review yours. This is amazing. I don't really know what to say but it's beautiful. The first line got me hooked in and it never let go, even to the very last of it. This was amazing. Keep up the good work!
-Samuel Harrisson
7/27/2009 c1
7anjehlessa
OmGosh! Something so pleasurable is still a nightmare...how ironic this whole poem is. This is beautifully written, and the transition from pleasure to pain is flawless in my opinion.
Keep up the good work,
~Lessa

OmGosh! Something so pleasurable is still a nightmare...how ironic this whole poem is. This is beautifully written, and the transition from pleasure to pain is flawless in my opinion.
Keep up the good work,
~Lessa
7/27/2009 c1
48Coffee Grounds
This line spoke to me: "forget fantasy, you're never beside me". I think this is really the part where the poem changes from semi-sweet to absolutely bitter.
The imagery in this was nice; I could feel the hurt.

This line spoke to me: "forget fantasy, you're never beside me". I think this is really the part where the poem changes from semi-sweet to absolutely bitter.
The imagery in this was nice; I could feel the hurt.
7/27/2009 c1
13imapiano
This is absolutely gorgeous.
I always find myself cheering and doing a little happy dance whenever I find someone who writes like this. (Yay for beautiful, lyrical poetry that doesn't rhyme! Yahootie!)
-Michelle

This is absolutely gorgeous.
I always find myself cheering and doing a little happy dance whenever I find someone who writes like this. (Yay for beautiful, lyrical poetry that doesn't rhyme! Yahootie!)
-Michelle
7/24/2009 c1
9Love And Some Verses
Very lyrical, this was wonderful, I like the desperation, very angst, very raw. Beautiful.

Very lyrical, this was wonderful, I like the desperation, very angst, very raw. Beautiful.
7/23/2009 c1 Isca
"I bet we could drown in the grass if we tried." Whoa. This is a brilliant opening line. The angst here is almost overwhelming. What a powerful way to begin a poem!
I like that you characterized the moon as a 'glutton.' That's a pretty creative expression of personification.
I like that you ended the piece with the words, "I'm still drowning," as they tie back nicely to the opening words. Keep up the great work. :)
"I bet we could drown in the grass if we tried." Whoa. This is a brilliant opening line. The angst here is almost overwhelming. What a powerful way to begin a poem!
I like that you characterized the moon as a 'glutton.' That's a pretty creative expression of personification.
I like that you ended the piece with the words, "I'm still drowning," as they tie back nicely to the opening words. Keep up the great work. :)
7/22/2009 c1 StarlightWish17
I thought that it was very beautiful. I loved the bit with:
'deep in the night,
the dew drops melt into our veins.'
^~^ So beautiful. Your wording is just so lovely. It was very sad but your words were just so beautiful. Excellent job. I really loved it.
I thought that it was very beautiful. I loved the bit with:
'deep in the night,
the dew drops melt into our veins.'
^~^ So beautiful. Your wording is just so lovely. It was very sad but your words were just so beautiful. Excellent job. I really loved it.
7/22/2009 c1 lymli
be my oxygen... that part is pretty sweet.
and the whole thing is funny and cute.
great poem.
be my oxygen... that part is pretty sweet.
and the whole thing is funny and cute.
great poem.