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for The Beast and Its Girl

8/16/2010 c1 12Reeech Beeetch
Gripping. Go you indeed.
8/31/2009 c1 27Lyllyth
This story is beautiful. I like the way you address the all-too-real problem of a teenage girl's distorted self-image. Even in so short a story, you're able to make the characters feel so real. I felt sympathy, even a bit of empathy, for the girl, and was really grateful to the boy who told her she was beautiful. I honestly can't think of any constructive critism to add right now. The story's great the way it is.
8/6/2009 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
This is a very moving piece. You show the pain of the girl, but also the rapture at the end, when she realizes that beauty is really just a word, everyone puts a different face to it.

The first half I really liked the imagery of your character wanting to take scissors to her skin. That picture in and of itself is very prevalent, and it was striking an incisive and said a lot about the character.

The latter section was also well done. The first part, you see the girl through her own eyes, and in the second, you see her through someone else’s. Very nice job overall. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

8/4/2009 c1 10Sour Plums
The beginning really caught me. I was so enthralled by the beast, why it called the girl it's daugther and what exactly it was. I thought it was going to actually be the girl's mother and that's how she saw her mother, or this was going to be a dark fantasy of sorts, but I was equally pleased when the beast is actually what comes with her cutting herself.

I would've like to see more, and I don't understand why you had to break it into 2 parts for such a short story. I don't really know what else I would've liked to see, but I guess I enjoyed it so much that I would've loved to read more of it.
7/23/2009 c1 7Elantil
Overall, this is a very good story. Most if not all of us, have our own personal demons to carry, and The Beast is one that seems to frequent many. I liked how you used that and gave it a shape, something definite that critiques its host to breaking point.

The story is a little short for me, but I reckon that adding too much will spoil the feel of the story. Look at me, the kettle calling the pot black.

All in all, good work. I can see why you won.
7/23/2009 c1 2I Am The Masquerade
This was very good. I look forward to reading more by you in the future.
7/23/2009 c1 8Pandora's Flight
Interesting... I love your personification of 'the Beast' It was a great way to portray the darker side of human consciousness. The side that makes us self-critical and dries up our self-confidence. Awesome =D

I enjoyed your writing style as well. The dialogue was clever and your characters developed nicely in the short amount of space. Her thoughts came across quite clearly :)

The only thing I was confused about, so you might have to explain it to me so I'm not forever curious. Is the 'Whisperer' different than the beast? That's the vibe I got from it. But who is he/it?

Congratulations on 2nd place in the competition! That's phenomenal! I can't wait to read the short story you're working on!

7/23/2009 c1 4abba315
I love this story. I can't explain it fully, but I just do. It is a perfect example of all the self-conscious girls out there who turn to razors and self-inflicted pain because they think they're inferior... I also love your style of writing. It's very powerful. Great job!

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