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7/20/2010 c7 SupernudgeB
This makes me want to restart my story... ack... I'm only 1 page (written, not typed) into it, too...

What should you write next? Logic of the real world, perhaps? Like, the fact that your character dies after a certain period of time when they don't drink water? Or humans can't breathe on Mars? Well, without some kind of oxygen supply... I dunno.
5/24/2010 c1 eiyuang999
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8/18/2009 c2 2coalhouse
Thank you for this. I'd like to think i've come a long way from my horrible writing years, due to helpful critisim in reviews, but this is really helping me shape up my writing even more.

I'll have to suggest this to my friend. She comes up with brilliant idea's, but her dialouge is messy and rushed. She gets mad at me whenever I correct her, so maybe she'll listen to this.

Can't wait for your next installment.
8/18/2009 c2 11ThreeBlackRoses
I can gurantee that my review will be neither so long, nor so detailed as yours, but I simply have to compliment you. This is everything I have ever hoped to find in a review and I would adore it if more users on this site began using your guide as a template.

On another note (because I'm too lazy to review twice), your first chapter is the only time I've ever seen anyone adress the one topic that simply drives me up the wall: badly written dialogue. I know not every writer has the same level of education or training, but I would swear that dialogue tags and punctuation were some of the first specific writing skills I was taught.

Thank you for your well though out guides and clear, easy to read layout.

Best of luck,

8/16/2009 c2 A Merry Savant
Thanks for teaching me more about reviewing.
8/16/2009 c1 A Merry Savant
Excellent. I think that's covered everything.
8/14/2009 c1 7clay-heart
This is very insightful. I've been thinking of referencing it in reviews, actually, and finally decided to save my fingers the fatigue and do so. =)

As for the 'tag word' debate, my two cents are that, as long as it's a sound a person can make while speaking, it's okay. I don't like nonsensical/weird ones like "He intimated, 'You like strawberries, huh?'" It's weird. Just make it clear through how the character acts, or readers will twitch at such odd expressions.

You may want to talk about how you made an appropriate info-dump in Savior, with Levi, and it worked...just saying. That was very smooth of you, and may offer some tips for writers who absolutely have to have one character explaining something, as you did there. =)

Other than that, the tips on the structure of dialogue-related sentences were very thorough. Your examples were spot-on. Good job!
8/14/2009 c2 clay-heart
I like your reviewing style, and the format is good. This would be an insanely long con-crit to receive, but it described some issues accurately and thoroughly, and also offered background information as to why they were valid corrections. This would presumably help your friend/the reviewed avoid such mistakes in the future.

My only addition to this would be to format it in clearly-stated sub-sections beyond "Good" and "Bad." Maybe point 1, point 2, etc. It's not necessary for shorter reviews, really, but with longer ones, it's helpful for both the reviewer and the reviewed to have the distinctions.

Basically, a very solid con-crit, and a good example of a very lengthy instructional/supportive review. Hope this makes sense, as it's my first time reviewing a review (and mine's not nearly as thorough)... lol.
8/13/2009 c1 18nandivelei
Thanks! It was very helpful! When writing something, I always get stuck on those little things... hehe :D
8/3/2009 c1 2Kitaxhaku
This helped! I always thought that people prefered this:

"So...?" Augustine said, pulling up a seat across from Levi.

rather than this

"So...?" Augustine said. He pulled up a seat across from Levi.

I got that habit from one of my favorite authors back in the day (can't remember who...someone on fanfiction dot net). I'm going to try to stray from that, then. Thanks again!
8/3/2009 c1 8Written
I enjoyed reading your thoughts and have some things to say about the dialog tag thingy but am pressed for time. will def. be back to read and review more. I like how well thought out this first chapter is!

If you keep writing, I may add this to my guide... I already have a few guides on dialog, but you can never have too much, right? It's just that I -am- away right now, so I'll think about it when I'm back home from vacation.

It's definitely a good piece and a promising first chapter. sorry I'm too rushed to say more :)
8/1/2009 c1 25John Enverga
Pretty helpful advice. I will take the advice you've given in this essay. Keep going!

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