for A Moment Ruins Forever8/9/2009 c1 
4k.maag
I completely understand the feelings that your main character had and her desire for something completely different than what she had. It's very realistic, although almost predictably so.
I liked the way that the ending just popped up like that. It makes it seem like everything just suddenly sucked for her, and I like that.
4k.maagI completely understand the feelings that your main character had and her desire for something completely different than what she had. It's very realistic, although almost predictably so.
I liked the way that the ending just popped up like that. It makes it seem like everything just suddenly sucked for her, and I like that.
8/7/2009 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
Everything felt nice and wrapped up by the end. I have to say though, that I’m not a fan of your protagonist, but that might have to do with finding so much in common with her. People naturally don’t like to see the reflections of themselves, and in creating three-dimensional realistic characters you did a good job.
You can feel for your protagonist in her lusting for Johnny - in his dangerousness. But I didn’t like how callus she was to Eric at the end, when she tells him that someone else is fucking her. Eriq hadn’t done anything up to that point to warrant that kind of abuse, so I felt really sorry for him.
Your character goes through a solid and steady change from beginning to end, and like I said I liked how things were wrapped up in the end. It all made sense that she would reflect, and like the reader, see her reflection in someone else. Nice job, keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
1k+Faithless JulietEverything felt nice and wrapped up by the end. I have to say though, that I’m not a fan of your protagonist, but that might have to do with finding so much in common with her. People naturally don’t like to see the reflections of themselves, and in creating three-dimensional realistic characters you did a good job.
You can feel for your protagonist in her lusting for Johnny - in his dangerousness. But I didn’t like how callus she was to Eric at the end, when she tells him that someone else is fucking her. Eriq hadn’t done anything up to that point to warrant that kind of abuse, so I felt really sorry for him.
Your character goes through a solid and steady change from beginning to end, and like I said I liked how things were wrapped up in the end. It all made sense that she would reflect, and like the reader, see her reflection in someone else. Nice job, keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
8/3/2009 c1 45deefective
Hmm, well I kind of likes this story, actually. Besides all the spelling mistakes and the "moral" at the end, it was decently written. You repeated some thing a few times too many and the ending felt rushed a bit but I enjoyed reading this. I liked the way that the main character changes throughout. I also liked the way you described her want for something less than perfect. Nicely done.
45deefectiveHmm, well I kind of likes this story, actually. Besides all the spelling mistakes and the "moral" at the end, it was decently written. You repeated some thing a few times too many and the ending felt rushed a bit but I enjoyed reading this. I liked the way that the main character changes throughout. I also liked the way you described her want for something less than perfect. Nicely done.