for If I'm To Become a Whale1/4/2010 c1 
24I'm just a dreamer
lol. I like this, no, i love this :) and two reasons only, I LOVE WHALES, I LOVE YOUR WRITING :) also i wouldn't mind being a whale either, and i wish that every single person in the world that has a connection to the slaughter of whales should realize what it'd be like to be a whale, and would they want to be harpooned and cut up like meat, sorry, this is what i feel strongly about and your work about whales inspires me, i haven't read anything about whales on this site so far and then i found this :) thank you, i have a poem against whaling on my profile if you care to read it, i'm just a dreamer
24I'm just a dreamerlol. I like this, no, i love this :) and two reasons only, I LOVE WHALES, I LOVE YOUR WRITING :) also i wouldn't mind being a whale either, and i wish that every single person in the world that has a connection to the slaughter of whales should realize what it'd be like to be a whale, and would they want to be harpooned and cut up like meat, sorry, this is what i feel strongly about and your work about whales inspires me, i haven't read anything about whales on this site so far and then i found this :) thank you, i have a poem against whaling on my profile if you care to read it, i'm just a dreamer
10/5/2009 c1 25give me november
thank you for this wonderful and very humorous poem. i enjoyed it quite a bit. check out my own stuff, maybe a few of them might make you laugh!:)
25give me novemberthank you for this wonderful and very humorous poem. i enjoyed it quite a bit. check out my own stuff, maybe a few of them might make you laugh!:)
9/5/2009 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
This is a fascinating piece - first the idea of switching from human to whale is not a common one, way to go for originality.
You have emphasis on the pelvis - or losing the pelvis, losing the ability to walk, be mobile. Yet you seem immersed with the ideal of the ocean, swimming, becoming one with the salt, making a new kind of piece there.
Throughout the whole piece I felt the transcendence of being torn between both words. And I loved the little line about the penis, it’s humorous, fits, and factual - which is a hard combination to pull off. All in all this piece really made me think, it has a unique edge to it that I’ve not seen before .Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
Jules, via the Review Marathon (links in my profile)
1k+Faithless JulietThis is a fascinating piece - first the idea of switching from human to whale is not a common one, way to go for originality.
You have emphasis on the pelvis - or losing the pelvis, losing the ability to walk, be mobile. Yet you seem immersed with the ideal of the ocean, swimming, becoming one with the salt, making a new kind of piece there.
Throughout the whole piece I felt the transcendence of being torn between both words. And I loved the little line about the penis, it’s humorous, fits, and factual - which is a hard combination to pull off. All in all this piece really made me think, it has a unique edge to it that I’ve not seen before .Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
Jules, via the Review Marathon (links in my profile)
8/24/2009 c1 28TinuvielDork
I won't lie, I clicked on this poem because the title/summary intrigued me. And I've also been semi in love with whales ever since reading a novel called "Whale Talk" which, while having very little to do with whales, did have a character wish he could be a whale because of their ability to communicate with so many other whales, and to have their emotions resonate across oceans. And I think it's interesting how that feeling in the novel came across in your poem as well, but in a different way.
I rather like how you seem to be saying that you can currently only speak via your body. Can't communicate what you want to how people usually try to communicate. And the opposites of the whales' abilities - be naked, be comfortable with themselves, but shield their ability to cry from others and even from themselves? Would the whale want to hide the fact that he was crying from himself?
Basically, I very much enjoyed your poem. Sorry my review has been so ramble-y.
-Tin
28TinuvielDorkI won't lie, I clicked on this poem because the title/summary intrigued me. And I've also been semi in love with whales ever since reading a novel called "Whale Talk" which, while having very little to do with whales, did have a character wish he could be a whale because of their ability to communicate with so many other whales, and to have their emotions resonate across oceans. And I think it's interesting how that feeling in the novel came across in your poem as well, but in a different way.
I rather like how you seem to be saying that you can currently only speak via your body. Can't communicate what you want to how people usually try to communicate. And the opposites of the whales' abilities - be naked, be comfortable with themselves, but shield their ability to cry from others and even from themselves? Would the whale want to hide the fact that he was crying from himself?
Basically, I very much enjoyed your poem. Sorry my review has been so ramble-y.
-Tin
8/22/2009 c1 124in theory
I think of 'pelvis' as such a feminine word, it imprinted on me a distinct sense of sexuality in this. I loved it, and whales are still fascinating.
124in theoryI think of 'pelvis' as such a feminine word, it imprinted on me a distinct sense of sexuality in this. I loved it, and whales are still fascinating.
8/18/2009 c1 163sharks don't sleep
My favorite is the second stanza - from heavier than hearts to the crying/salt part? Ohh my god, that was beautiful.
C
163sharks don't sleepMy favorite is the second stanza - from heavier than hearts to the crying/salt part? Ohh my god, that was beautiful.
C
8/12/2009 c1 50Andrea Lotte
Great poem, interesting subject matter. I especially enjoyed the second stanza. However, I feel that the word "communicate" in the third verse sounds a little awkward compared to the rest of the poem, which has a nice fluidity.
Interesting poem, nevertheless! Nice work
50Andrea LotteGreat poem, interesting subject matter. I especially enjoyed the second stanza. However, I feel that the word "communicate" in the third verse sounds a little awkward compared to the rest of the poem, which has a nice fluidity.
Interesting poem, nevertheless! Nice work
8/11/2009 c1 4lionattack
I hope you keep writing about whales :) This is fantastic, and artfully written. I love the way the mood is set, and the subtle longing, only to be wildly (and hilariously) shifted. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and I really love that quality in a poem. We are never hit over the head with the uncertainity of the speaker's place in the world, but we can feel it, and that's what makes this poem interesting and effective. And I love the speaker weighing the pros and cons of becoming a whale. I really enjoyed this! Well done!
4lionattackI hope you keep writing about whales :) This is fantastic, and artfully written. I love the way the mood is set, and the subtle longing, only to be wildly (and hilariously) shifted. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and I really love that quality in a poem. We are never hit over the head with the uncertainity of the speaker's place in the world, but we can feel it, and that's what makes this poem interesting and effective. And I love the speaker weighing the pros and cons of becoming a whale. I really enjoyed this! Well done!
8/6/2009 c1 Isca
I do believe that this is the first whale-based poem that I've ever read - it made for a very interesting and entertaining read. I love the repetition of the line, "I have to lose my pelvis," because the speaker suggests that she has to lose her sexuality in order to gain a better appreciation for music, communication, breathing, etc. The line, "Could be at home with nakedness," was also a favourite of mine, as it was quite moving and striking. Keep up the great work. :)
I do believe that this is the first whale-based poem that I've ever read - it made for a very interesting and entertaining read. I love the repetition of the line, "I have to lose my pelvis," because the speaker suggests that she has to lose her sexuality in order to gain a better appreciation for music, communication, breathing, etc. The line, "Could be at home with nakedness," was also a favourite of mine, as it was quite moving and striking. Keep up the great work. :)
8/6/2009 c1 30Scarlet Child
I've missed reading your work! I like this a lot, especially "however. I could be heavier than hearts, could never need an umbrella again. Could be at home with nakedness. finally be deep. get along with salt." :)
30Scarlet ChildI've missed reading your work! I like this a lot, especially "however. I could be heavier than hearts, could never need an umbrella again. Could be at home with nakedness. finally be deep. get along with salt." :)
8/5/2009 c1 51for shame
i love this - a lot.
there is something poetic about the first few lines, despite the usual vulgarity associated with sex.
i was coaxed into such a melancholy mood by the line "never know if I was crying". and then... you mentioned whale penises.
i loved that; made me laugh out loud.
& i love the connection between getting beached and getting stuck. and everything else following it.
well, basically everything.
this is the funniest - and yet most (strangely) poetic - poem i've read in a long time.
51for shamei love this - a lot.
there is something poetic about the first few lines, despite the usual vulgarity associated with sex.
i was coaxed into such a melancholy mood by the line "never know if I was crying". and then... you mentioned whale penises.
i loved that; made me laugh out loud.
& i love the connection between getting beached and getting stuck. and everything else following it.
well, basically everything.
this is the funniest - and yet most (strangely) poetic - poem i've read in a long time.