for The Howling1/26/2010 c1 
11his terrible beauty
It takes a lot of talent to get a reader this invested in a oneshot, especially with fantasy.
This is gorgeously written.
11his terrible beautyIt takes a lot of talent to get a reader this invested in a oneshot, especially with fantasy.
This is gorgeously written.
11/18/2009 c1 natmarie
One of the best fantasy pieces I have read on this site...though to be fair I suppose I haven't read any for quite awhile. Still, hands down the best so far. Again, I know I must sound like a broken record on repeat, great job with describing your scene so that your character is not just floating in space. Also, you provide a background for the reader without flat out telling them your character's life story. Your wording sounds very fantasy-ish, yet realistic and flowy, if that makes any sense at all. Your repetition makes the words more powerful and the importance of the resound with the reader. Hooray for a strong female lead, who is not annoyingly strong or stubborn. You also prove that a story does not need dialogue to be well-written. You also seem to have a flair for the dramatic endings, but well done. the last line is amazing.
One of the best fantasy pieces I have read on this site...though to be fair I suppose I haven't read any for quite awhile. Still, hands down the best so far. Again, I know I must sound like a broken record on repeat, great job with describing your scene so that your character is not just floating in space. Also, you provide a background for the reader without flat out telling them your character's life story. Your wording sounds very fantasy-ish, yet realistic and flowy, if that makes any sense at all. Your repetition makes the words more powerful and the importance of the resound with the reader. Hooray for a strong female lead, who is not annoyingly strong or stubborn. You also prove that a story does not need dialogue to be well-written. You also seem to have a flair for the dramatic endings, but well done. the last line is amazing.
11/2/2009 c1 fleur de l'est
I must admit I'm not the biggest fan of fantasy, especially the fact that fantasy fictions always create a set of new rules which make them sort of realistic anyway because restrictions are still imposed on the characters. Nevertheless, this piece was enjoyable. I didn't like the first part much, it possesses too much of the 'mysterious' tone of fantasy novels; but I guess you could take that as a compliment, if that's what you wanted to accomplish :) The descriptions throughout the piece are nice and the storyline is very moving. Well done!
~fleur
I must admit I'm not the biggest fan of fantasy, especially the fact that fantasy fictions always create a set of new rules which make them sort of realistic anyway because restrictions are still imposed on the characters. Nevertheless, this piece was enjoyable. I didn't like the first part much, it possesses too much of the 'mysterious' tone of fantasy novels; but I guess you could take that as a compliment, if that's what you wanted to accomplish :) The descriptions throughout the piece are nice and the storyline is very moving. Well done!
~fleur
10/15/2009 c1 MockingJuliet
You did a tremendously fantastic job on capturing the atmosphere and describing everything. I love stories like this, but I dont posess the talent to do them justice, however, you dear very talented writer, do. Never stop writing.
MJ
Oh, and thanks SO MUCH for all your kind reviews for Echoing Sean. You are a sweet heart. Each review was so helpful and of course, well loved lol.
You did a tremendously fantastic job on capturing the atmosphere and describing everything. I love stories like this, but I dont posess the talent to do them justice, however, you dear very talented writer, do. Never stop writing.
MJ
Oh, and thanks SO MUCH for all your kind reviews for Echoing Sean. You are a sweet heart. Each review was so helpful and of course, well loved lol.
10/2/2009 c1 Sir Scott
At least her death wasn't in vain. This was pretty well written. Hope to read more from you soon.
~SirScott
At least her death wasn't in vain. This was pretty well written. Hope to read more from you soon.
~SirScott
9/25/2009 c1 20Maria Patenaude
That was intense in *such* a good way! I favor warrior women in my own fantasy writing, so that by itself got my attention pretty quickly. You're very eloquent, particularly in your imagery; I could literally see this battle unfolding in my mind. Excellent tragic happy ending; those are hard to pull off gracefully, and yours is well-balanced between heart-wrenching and cheer-inducing.
Do you write more than one-shots? I get the sense that you do... and if you don't, you really should. I know how hard it is to put your serious, full-length work out there if you hope to publish someday, though.
20Maria PatenaudeThat was intense in *such* a good way! I favor warrior women in my own fantasy writing, so that by itself got my attention pretty quickly. You're very eloquent, particularly in your imagery; I could literally see this battle unfolding in my mind. Excellent tragic happy ending; those are hard to pull off gracefully, and yours is well-balanced between heart-wrenching and cheer-inducing.
Do you write more than one-shots? I get the sense that you do... and if you don't, you really should. I know how hard it is to put your serious, full-length work out there if you hope to publish someday, though.
9/23/2009 c1 Punslinger
Well written, graphic and exciting. Just a bit repetitious before the real action starts. I saw a few minor errors. "que" should be "cue." "...deaths (death's) waiting arms." "Too many of hers (her's) littered..." "...the woman her (who) guarded her back."
Well written, graphic and exciting. Just a bit repetitious before the real action starts. I saw a few minor errors. "que" should be "cue." "...deaths (death's) waiting arms." "Too many of hers (her's) littered..." "...the woman her (who) guarded her back."
8/16/2009 c1 35MyCookiesNotYours
I have to say... No, I don't actually have to say this, but I will. This is great.
I know that it's meant to be more than just great, which it is. For me to describe this story though, all I could say is.. Well, it's excellent.
35MyCookiesNotYoursI have to say... No, I don't actually have to say this, but I will. This is great.
I know that it's meant to be more than just great, which it is. For me to describe this story though, all I could say is.. Well, it's excellent.
8/14/2009 c1 painted eyes
Excellent imagery here. I love the way you write. The last line was heart-breaking.
Keep it up!
~painted
Excellent imagery here. I love the way you write. The last line was heart-breaking.
Keep it up!
~painted
8/14/2009 c1 5Lady Livia
*flails*
Do you have ANY idea how good this is?
Bloody good! That's how good!
Flippin' Fantastic!
I'm crying! You horrible girl! CRYING!
You need to write more!
...also... Prince Adriel sounds damn fine! I can see it now...
MORE. NOW.
GO.
Loren
xx
5Lady Livia*flails*
Do you have ANY idea how good this is?
Bloody good! That's how good!
Flippin' Fantastic!
I'm crying! You horrible girl! CRYING!
You need to write more!
...also... Prince Adriel sounds damn fine! I can see it now...
MORE. NOW.
GO.
Loren
xx
8/10/2009 c1 26Mirabella
It made me cry! (As you know...)
Which i might add is the best compliment i can give. :)
So, brilliant i say! So sad, and tormenting, but ever hopeful at the end with the lovely Prince coming to save the day!
Sacrifice is always heart wrenching, and this is definately that!
xo
26MirabellaIt made me cry! (As you know...)
Which i might add is the best compliment i can give. :)
So, brilliant i say! So sad, and tormenting, but ever hopeful at the end with the lovely Prince coming to save the day!
Sacrifice is always heart wrenching, and this is definately that!
xo
8/10/2009 c1 109ADSpencer
Interesting story you have here. I had to read it, because I love that song-in fact, I put it on while I was reading, and it really added to the atmosphere of the story.
Speaking of which, I think you did an excellent job of capturing the overall dark, epic atmosphere through description, though I would have liked to have seen a few more key visual descriptions. The physical description that was there was good, the hills, the "colour-faded lips", etc. However, a few more, specific physical details worked into the story would have made it even better.
I also liked that the language wasn't overdone. Often times when I'm reading stories with battle sequences, I find that the classical language is just a bit too forced and it comes out as "purple prose". You did a good job of avoiding that, but still keeping that regal air.
I only wish you'd mentioned a few more specific details about the FMC's background or something more about her own personal motivation. I understand the full motivation: saving her people, reversing the error of the forefathers. But, with her "sister and shield" there I think you might could insert a little moment where she remembers something from her real life. I think she'd feel more human and less representative of the soldiers as a whole.
You did a very good job of making the info about the situation and history of the creatures organic, though, adding the info in less direct ways throughout the whole story. Especially in the repetition of "Had to believe..."
Nice job.
ADS, The Roadhouse Beer Run (see the link on my profile)
109ADSpencerInteresting story you have here. I had to read it, because I love that song-in fact, I put it on while I was reading, and it really added to the atmosphere of the story.
Speaking of which, I think you did an excellent job of capturing the overall dark, epic atmosphere through description, though I would have liked to have seen a few more key visual descriptions. The physical description that was there was good, the hills, the "colour-faded lips", etc. However, a few more, specific physical details worked into the story would have made it even better.
I also liked that the language wasn't overdone. Often times when I'm reading stories with battle sequences, I find that the classical language is just a bit too forced and it comes out as "purple prose". You did a good job of avoiding that, but still keeping that regal air.
I only wish you'd mentioned a few more specific details about the FMC's background or something more about her own personal motivation. I understand the full motivation: saving her people, reversing the error of the forefathers. But, with her "sister and shield" there I think you might could insert a little moment where she remembers something from her real life. I think she'd feel more human and less representative of the soldiers as a whole.
You did a very good job of making the info about the situation and history of the creatures organic, though, adding the info in less direct ways throughout the whole story. Especially in the repetition of "Had to believe..."
Nice job.
ADS, The Roadhouse Beer Run (see the link on my profile)