for The War Office5/19/2012 c1 
5Elizabeth Drake
This version is improved by a lot and I already thought the first version was good. The characters are well introduced and I like the way you explained why Madeline is engaged in more detail.
5Elizabeth DrakeThis version is improved by a lot and I already thought the first version was good. The characters are well introduced and I like the way you explained why Madeline is engaged in more detail.
11/29/2010 c1 bluetinkerbell
Yay! I'm so glad that this story is going to continue!
I do like that you've chosen to start the story over, and I already find Lucy much more...fun as a character. She's the sister you love but hate and I think you've captured that perfectly.
If there is one problem I had with your original story, it was that the romance seemed...forced? I can't think of the word right now, but it seemed as if Geoff was suddenly sprouting feelings for Madeleine the moment they reached France and yet, there was no real impetus to them...except that he liked her. This, of course, wasn't a huge problem, and isn't something that would keep me from continuing to read. I just usually like it if characters are able to spend time together before developing feelings for each other, especially when you laid out their mutual dislike for each other so well :D
Anyways, brilliant story and I continue to look forward to more! (when real life is brilliantly boring and you have time, of course :D )
Yay! I'm so glad that this story is going to continue!
I do like that you've chosen to start the story over, and I already find Lucy much more...fun as a character. She's the sister you love but hate and I think you've captured that perfectly.
If there is one problem I had with your original story, it was that the romance seemed...forced? I can't think of the word right now, but it seemed as if Geoff was suddenly sprouting feelings for Madeleine the moment they reached France and yet, there was no real impetus to them...except that he liked her. This, of course, wasn't a huge problem, and isn't something that would keep me from continuing to read. I just usually like it if characters are able to spend time together before developing feelings for each other, especially when you laid out their mutual dislike for each other so well :D
Anyways, brilliant story and I continue to look forward to more! (when real life is brilliantly boring and you have time, of course :D )
9/4/2009 c1 2Michael Howard
An enjoyable beginning to this story. The dialogue flowed smoothly and you certainly captured the historical setting well through the skillful use of contemporary slang. (The word afghan as a term for a blanket *might* be a bit anachronistic however. Sadly I have no OED at hand at the moment to be certain either way). Your many references to London historical places also helped to orient the reader.
Wasn't May of 1803 about the time the Treaty of Amiens broke down? The title (and the synopsis) of your story makes me think the date you chose as the starting point isn't mere happenstance.
Looking forward to what comes next.
2Michael HowardAn enjoyable beginning to this story. The dialogue flowed smoothly and you certainly captured the historical setting well through the skillful use of contemporary slang. (The word afghan as a term for a blanket *might* be a bit anachronistic however. Sadly I have no OED at hand at the moment to be certain either way). Your many references to London historical places also helped to orient the reader.
Wasn't May of 1803 about the time the Treaty of Amiens broke down? The title (and the synopsis) of your story makes me think the date you chose as the starting point isn't mere happenstance.
Looking forward to what comes next.