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for Thoughtless

12/28/2009 c23 8Julia2Cj
This is a better ending. I understand why you wrote the original ending-as you said, you wrote yourself into a conundrum-but while it put an end to the cycle of indecisiveness and hurt, it was also... overdramatic. I can't imagine being in a situation like Denny and Kellan would have been if Keira had died, but I also know that almost no one, especially that young, really lets a girl ruin the rest of his life. Love is fantastic and it feels like the world when you're in it, but when it's over (especially when you're the one hurt), it's almost disappointingly easy to let go of. This way, you address the hurt, the need to patch things up and let go of Denny, the need to take things slowly with Kellan and the need to take some space to heal, and still let things come back together in a satisfying conclusion.

In my opinion, anyway. :)
12/24/2009 c23 reader
God, this was the most emotionally draining story I have ever read on Fictionpress and probably the most emotionally draining story I've ever read, period.

It was really good.

Her point of view made it so intense. I like how there were no character shifts... point of view shifts are really fun and a good variable sometimes, but this was not some lark-story, and it was so descriptive, so sad, so perfect. I am so impressed by how you made the characters, especially the narrator. I am so impressed how incredibly sympathetic she is.

This story really made me think about people, about what sex means, about this situation. I think you chose all the most heartbreaking circumstances, the most painful ones, without it becoming unrealistic. Each person had their flaws, which made them believable and so, so easy to feel for.

There was really good character development; you drew me into the story in a way that made me match each emotion as it came...It didn't feel forced or exaggerated. Good job. I am really hard pressed to think of any negative points right now. There was a LOT of back-and-forth, but right now all I can think is that it underscored the tensions and was really necessary...as in, in making me feel drained and pulled from one side to the other, I was feeling to some extent what the characters were experiencing. That was interesting.

Finally, I'd like to say thank you so much for resolving your story in a way that gives everyone (all the characters) the best possible solution (an ending I wasn't even sure could happen, given the circumstances). I really, really read for happy endings. Because they don't happen enough in real life. Thanks so much for that. I wasn't planning on investing so much of my day reading a story on Fictionpress because I really had just come here for some happy, sappy stories, but this one was definitely worth it. I hope you are/ are becoming a published author. :)
12/18/2009 c23 Kimberly Beckwith
Aw i just love happy endings! So cute i loved it!
12/9/2009 c23 3Skylar Gainsborough
Wow. I mean just wow. I have never laughed and cried so much in my life. This story just tore me up inside and I haven't been able to tear my eyes from the screen since I began. You are an amazing writer and I hope you keep writing. Thanks for an amazing roller coaster ride.
11/27/2009 c23 janeanist
How come you only have 64 reviews?

This story is amazing! I don't even know where to start...

Ok so, here we go; my happy review :D

I really appreciated that you took your time with the unfolding of the plot, and building up the characters and yet you never lost me, i was never bored and I read every single word eagerly (which isn't always the case..!^^).

I felt so so much for Kellan. I hated Kiera for hurting him like that, so I was REALLY happy when you didn't have him run to her like some puppy once Denny left. Yeah she needed to have a taste of her own medicine! But thank God they got back together! I mean if she had ended up with Denny...gah! no no no!(I know there is another ending I suppose she does pick the aussie in that one...I will go and read it...but just because i love your characters!)

I'm so happy that I stumbled upon this story by accident! It was original, daring (I lOved the "innocent flirting" lol yeah like that could work!wake up kiera it's kellan we are talking about here!), sweet, sexy, and well happy ending...I'm a sucker for them ;)

Well Thanks again! What can I say..You made my day!^^
11/7/2009 c23 Vashsbabe13
Whoa...that was EPIC (especially since I practically put my life on hold reading it). I love the characterization Kellan, he's like a lovable man whore with a troubled childhood, while Denny's like the best boyfriend a girl could possibly have. It made your story so much more dramatic and complex when Kiera ended up being in love with Kellan, because I (the reader) could understand how Kiera would not want to leave Denny. Please keep writing! Your style is amazing and you really have talent.
11/6/2009 c23 MissIndependant
i know its a little late reviewing, but unfortunately i found this story a little late and i just finished reading it in 2 days even though i have like 4 tests this week i just couldnt stop reading, i really enjoyed this story.

i must say that i loved this one and i really liked the characters especially Kellan lol, there always has to be the hot assholes with annoying yet totally hot man-whorish ways in every story.

what really bugs me is that this story didn't get as much credit as it deserves cuz sometimes i feel like some stories on here may get alot of attention but may not even be that good but this story i really enjoyed and even though its none of my business to be pissed at this since ur the author but i just cant help but think it deserves alot more credit! anyways apart from that i liked this ending better than the other one that one was too sad and im just used to cliched happy endings. anywayzz gr8 story and im hoping that there will be more amazing stories from you in the future!
10/30/2009 c23 Jashelly
Congrats man on ur great story lol. I loved it- the drama, the plot and even your writing style. Its very rare to see greatly written stories like 'Thoughtless'. Yes there are stories with great plots but how often are they written poorly?

(Y) On your outstanding story ! (5 stars) :)
10/30/2009 c23 Sweet and Low
I stayed up to read this whole story through and I have to say that it really is amazing. I never read the tragic ending because I just discovered this story; and I probably never will because I don't want to cry (happens too often when I read tragic endings).

Denny is sort of an asshole. I mean, that's probably horrible to say considering the fact that she cheated, but he's a pretty shitty boyfriend. He spent no time with her and the only time he didn't make her feel guilty about something was when he was sleeping with her. I don't know if you made it that way, but it was really hard for me to feel bad for him. I think its good that you had her end up with Kellan, he acted more like her boyfriend even before Denny going away or the break-up sex. He took care of her, not in the pompous anti-feminist way, but in the "I love you, so here" way. Kiera though, generally, doesn't understand consequences and she doesn't trust herself at all. She's really emotionally abusive towards Kellan, even if she doesn't mean to be, and doesn't realize that she

Despite not liking her though, I wanted her to be happy. And Kellan is just a really amazing character, he's the classic "bad guy" in a band and with a shitty past, but there's more to him and you have the character evolve and show more of himself through the story. Kudos on creating characters who actually grow and for whom readers feel.

In fact, even with the happy end, I almost cried. Sort of the way one does at the end of the Notebook. They're together but its such an amazing love that you get starry eyed and think "when do I get that?"

Anyway, I was looking for a sappy fluff romance but I got so much more. You created a real story. So, thanks.

P.S. You're an amazing writer, characterization and storytelling is top-notch.
10/28/2009 c23 8Lulli101
Amazing story!
10/28/2009 c23 superficialowl
I much prefer this version of how things ended. I was crying non stop with the other version and even though i cried a bit in from these chapters I am a sucker for a happy ending. Well at least a realistic happy ending since the characters didn't suddenly ride off into the sunset. Great work on such a fantastic story.
10/9/2009 c22 Yansi8

Where is this link because i have been reading this story for the past two weekends and i can't bear to not read the ending. This is amazing I just cant stop thinking about it!
10/4/2009 c22 giraffeeee
This story... was absolutely brilliant and the ending made me sob. It was heartbreaking seeing the effect Kiera had on the two men and how they reunited in the end.

All I have to say is that I love, love, LOVE this story.
10/4/2009 c22 Frozen.by.Sloth
I want to say, from the beginning, how underrated I think this story is.

Honestly, your writing style is impeccable, I enjoyed every part of it - the entertaining simplicity which manages to say everything. I enjoyed every part of this story, and it felt completely real, the time flew by naturally, and, honestly. I'm awed, impressed and thoroughly satisfied (haha).

Then again.. I mean, however, I never read the last two chapters completely. It would completely downplay the story for me, and I sincerely wouldn't want that.

I felt like you were taking the easy way out of finishing it, and killed her off. Honestly, and please take no offense (please), I think it's well stupid. I read your note at the end and it kind of confirmed my "suspicions".

You mentioned how you always planned on her ending up with Denny, but many things about the story and its characters changed over time. Somehow, that never changed the ending, and that confuses me. I honestly never saw her with Denny. The memories are one thing, her blinding undecisiveness completely another and the fact they drifted apart, again, unrelated. Not to mention the whole "I slept with your friend" thing. And regarding Kellan - the chemistry, the love, the history (if they got through that...) - and hell, let's be honest - Kiera wouldn't be the first or the only one to break up with someone she loved. People live through everything, it's what Denny's and Kellan's future(as you plotted it out) clearly proves that - but you couldn't imagine Kiera breaking it off with Denny?

I'm confused. And her "love" was so strong yet so absolutely abusing. I honestly hope never to be loved by someone like her.

Okay, now I'm sounding like a right bitch. :) I'm really sorry, but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. Like reading Goethe all over again, and I didn't actually read the ending.

Okay, so, now, to focus on the good sides (Though honestly, I couldn't list all of them even if I tried) -

The Car Scene. The angry one. Yeah. ...I... Yeah. Stupendous.

Honestly, I'm not sure how to even piece up what I think of this.

From the beginning to the near-end I was drawn in so deep I'm not sure how I'm going to untangle myself (Though the ending served its purpose hahah) - and I was surprised when I noticed how full, long and greatly patched up your chapters were.

Honestly, I'm beside myself.

Then I saw, like, 55 reviews? What the hell, honestly? Fictionpress doesn't know what it's missing, your story is the most underrated one I've ever read on here (and I've read a lot of them).


Well... Anyway, I feel like I'm screwing up the review, but eh..

I just wanted to say I loved it, and I hope the comments about the ending don't make you sad, or offend you, because I honestly don't want that. I'm sure it was written out wonderfully.

Besides that -

Thank you for sharing.

I honestly hope you don't stop writing. I would love to have one of your books on my shelf one day. Even if I don't like the ending, I'll just skip it altogether :)

haha, you're lucky I'm not one of those people who read the end first ;)
9/28/2009 c22 9Spinning Yarns
Wow. That was a very harsh story, but in a very good way. It showed a piece of life that is so commonly glossed over. Most of the time people who write a story with romance in it make it light and fluffy and entirely unbelievable. I'll admit, I enjoy light fluff stories. This though, the whole time I was reading it, I was thinking "This is believable. I could see this happening in real life. This is real." It was heartbreakingly truthful and in some cases a little shocking with how blunt you were, but it went with the whole story marvelously. And despite the fact it is a long story, it was well worth it to read it.

Part of the reason for that is your characters. They were people I could see meeting in real life. The little things, the big things, the nuances. Their personality's were so completely their own and even the things that didn't seem like them when it was first read quickly became understandable. Even the most even tempered person may blow or the most volatile person can be calmed.

Congratulations on writing a marvelous story and thank you very much for posting it where it can be enjoyed by many. I can't wait to get started on the sequel.

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