for Raze It To The Ground8/13/2009 c2 TheKingpen
Wow that was fast! Great chapter! I do, however have a couple of points (actually maybe only one).
1)Sometimes you unnecessarily repeat things. For example:
"Sam instructed Ryan to hide in the alley at the other side of the road; Sam himself hid in the alley on his side of the road."
Of course you don't have to repeat the fact that he hid himself in the alley on his or the other side of the road. Then again, this is just me nitpicking.
Wow that was fast! Great chapter! I do, however have a couple of points (actually maybe only one).
1)Sometimes you unnecessarily repeat things. For example:
"Sam instructed Ryan to hide in the alley at the other side of the road; Sam himself hid in the alley on his side of the road."
Of course you don't have to repeat the fact that he hid himself in the alley on his or the other side of the road. Then again, this is just me nitpicking.