for Spare Parts Draft10/15/2009 c5 
54Indefinite
ooh, this was lovely, i really loved it. especially the ending. i loved how it wasn't ... happy, per say. good. 'thought it was interesting, how the 'evil' did win, how rael did die, but how it wasn't long, or drawn out, how it didn't give you any time to think about it, to even hope that the 'good' would win, before the end happened. good job
54Indefiniteooh, this was lovely, i really loved it. especially the ending. i loved how it wasn't ... happy, per say. good. 'thought it was interesting, how the 'evil' did win, how rael did die, but how it wasn't long, or drawn out, how it didn't give you any time to think about it, to even hope that the 'good' would win, before the end happened. good job
10/14/2009 c1 13Aida Rose
I really liked the begining of this, and the imagery really setup a clear picture.
There were a couple of mistakes:
'Bea friend Lilly' 'Bea's friend Lilly'
Lilly's usually spelled like 'Lily'.
I'd say more, but gotta go.
13Aida RoseI really liked the begining of this, and the imagery really setup a clear picture.
There were a couple of mistakes:
'Bea friend Lilly' 'Bea's friend Lilly'
Lilly's usually spelled like 'Lily'.
I'd say more, but gotta go.
10/14/2009 c5 Lace-1812
Aw, lovely. The ending is a little rushed- but apart from that, it's really well done. I still think you should have a happy ending, but that's just my optimism. I like it, anyway. Rael and Bea getting together was very well done.
Aw, lovely. The ending is a little rushed- but apart from that, it's really well done. I still think you should have a happy ending, but that's just my optimism. I like it, anyway. Rael and Bea getting together was very well done.
10/6/2009 c3 2Astarel
I think she was able to slip in and out of the building a bit too easily... but otherwise, excellent! Moar!
2AstarelI think she was able to slip in and out of the building a bit too easily... but otherwise, excellent! Moar!
9/29/2009 c2 Lace-1812
Got a bit wordy('the rapid beating of the vital organ.'), but still awesome. I wants to find out what happens next, update ginger ninja.
I likes it.
Got a bit wordy('the rapid beating of the vital organ.'), but still awesome. I wants to find out what happens next, update ginger ninja.
I likes it.
8/24/2009 c1 Lace-1812
That's cool. I likes it- only it's going to get gruesome, I can tell...
Well, hurry up. I want to find out what happens next!
That's cool. I likes it- only it's going to get gruesome, I can tell...
Well, hurry up. I want to find out what happens next!
8/19/2009 c1 BDB
OH! What's going to happen next? =D
Ruth
OH! What's going to happen next? =D
Ruth
8/19/2009 c1 Astarel
M I like this story... cutting up people and harvesting their organs is A-okay! Moar please :D
M I like this story... cutting up people and harvesting their organs is A-okay! Moar please :D