for two variables9/5/2009 c1 
612simpleplan13
I really like that comparison in the last stanza. I think that was a really interesting ending. It was unexpected and a really great way to talk about this. However, I do think it was a tad confusing. I think you should've talked about the first one being x for the sentence to not confuse people.
I liked the rest of the piece too. I think the dialogue is realistic and very bittersweet. I do think the beginning is a bit prosey though. I think maybe some more creative word choices or descriptions like in the last stanza would help.
Anyway, nice job!
PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile).
612simpleplan13I really like that comparison in the last stanza. I think that was a really interesting ending. It was unexpected and a really great way to talk about this. However, I do think it was a tad confusing. I think you should've talked about the first one being x for the sentence to not confuse people.
I liked the rest of the piece too. I think the dialogue is realistic and very bittersweet. I do think the beginning is a bit prosey though. I think maybe some more creative word choices or descriptions like in the last stanza would help.
Anyway, nice job!
PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (link in my profile).
8/30/2009 c1 Cheyenne Johnson
Aw, Kayla. :( Did this actually happen or is it just an idea based off of it all? I like it either way. The ending verse is beautiful, the way it makes it seem like the pressure of thinking about it is too much so it's easier to just think simple. I love it and I miss you!
Aw, Kayla. :( Did this actually happen or is it just an idea based off of it all? I like it either way. The ending verse is beautiful, the way it makes it seem like the pressure of thinking about it is too much so it's easier to just think simple. I love it and I miss you!