4/15/2010 c2 heavengurl899
hey! It's so nice to see a story about the south (I don't know if you're actually from here [the south not alabama] but I'll be very interested in seeing where you take the southern aspect of the story).

I have a few critiques about the story so far.

1) Although the narrator is cute in the way he/she speaks his/her interruptions get a little obnoxious and distract from the plot. I mean he/she hit the nail on the head when he/she said "Sorry. Totally distracting you again." Hopefully the next few chapters will have less narrator and more narration (does that make any sense?) I think it's an original (less used way) to go about story telling and I want you to keep that but like I said you could keep it to a minimum.

2) If Robert was such a sweet guy why did he break up with Gabrielle in front of everyone? That just seems a little contradictory. So just be aware that actions speak louder than words, and if Robert was really a sweet guy he wouldn't use Gabrielle as a "piece of ass", etc.

3) Please make Lance a less cliche side kick.

4)The story about the Beauty and the Beast, especially the Disney version which you quoted earlier, has to do with change of the Beast. If both Beauty and the Bear are kind people how is it like the original story? I know I'm supposed to "wait and see" but I'd hope it would be more apparent by this point.

5)In the prologue you say that the "prince" and "princesses" parents are "good friends" but if they don't even know each other how can they be "good friends"?

6) Would this be more age appropriate (in terms of maturity) if they were placed in college? I go to a small southern college which is basically an extension of highschool (with all the football players and cliques) but my college is less "redneck" and more "southern gentry" so it really depends on which direction you're going with this haha just a suggestion.

There are more little things that aren't too pressing so I'll leave it at that. Good luck with the rest of the story! If you need help I'd love to be of assistance.

4/1/2010 c2 7Ebonina
Wow, this story has a very unique narrative to it. I love how the narrator is part of the story and yet not so much (If you know what I mean!) I love the story of Beauty and the Beast so I can't wait to read more!

2/26/2010 c2 21rosieroo
this is an interesting start, and i like how robert is a sweet guy!

cant wait to see where it goes from here

2/20/2010 c2 1moonlitmidnight
Deeply fabulous! I enjoyed this chapter very much! And I also very much like how you managed to incorporate the beauty an the beast characters' names into your story...i.e Gabriella gaston... Clever! I enjoyed this chapter... Please update soon and I don't mean to sound stalkerish but i'm in love with ur writing... If u were a guy... I wuld totally propose.

Please update soon!

2/19/2010 c2 2ShrimpoJewels
haha I love this story, I'm so glad you decided to pick it back up. I like the concept and I'm definitely enjoying Belle and Bear...

The way you described Bear sounds yummy he definitely makes me swoon...a Southern Gentleman through and throught? I want one please

And damn straight us Texans take football seriously...I love my Longhorns and my Cowboys ;-)

2/14/2010 c2 4MaPluie
I like Robert. Very much. :)

2/12/2010 c2 1fairytaled
I felt bad for not reviewing this. Awesome, i love the narrator, will we find out who it is at the end? I really would like to know that. Hmm.. Gaston.. as in the guy Belle was supposed to marry before she met the beast...

Awesome as usual

noelle