for July wishes1/13/2011 c1 Hes
Realize that you just thought of yourself as a woman and not a teenage girl and sit on the floor because you get dizzy all of a sudden.
You've moved on from sensible heels to cigarettes, but you get the same feeling at the sight of your reflection, as if you can escape the future as easily as taking off a dress.
You might not read this since you wrote it ages ago but I really like this. I read this about three times and each time I got that horrible exciting stabby feeling when you realise that other people exist and horrible exciting stabby feelings as well. 'sensible heels to cigarettes' such a nice turn of phrase. And the way you start off "on all the brightest stars and every sip of beer" naively claiming the biggest cliche that a reader would worry about encountering when reading a poem with "wishes" in the title while also naively in a different way likening stars to sips of beer is kinda perfect for a poem about these "little-big"/trivial-poetical comparisons and growing up and everything. There's stuff I don't like, nd can't empaphize with but I'm not sure I'd like you to change it, because as well as the stabby realiation of other people it reminds you of the massive void as well. Thanks.
Realize that you just thought of yourself as a woman and not a teenage girl and sit on the floor because you get dizzy all of a sudden.
You've moved on from sensible heels to cigarettes, but you get the same feeling at the sight of your reflection, as if you can escape the future as easily as taking off a dress.
You might not read this since you wrote it ages ago but I really like this. I read this about three times and each time I got that horrible exciting stabby feeling when you realise that other people exist and horrible exciting stabby feelings as well. 'sensible heels to cigarettes' such a nice turn of phrase. And the way you start off "on all the brightest stars and every sip of beer" naively claiming the biggest cliche that a reader would worry about encountering when reading a poem with "wishes" in the title while also naively in a different way likening stars to sips of beer is kinda perfect for a poem about these "little-big"/trivial-poetical comparisons and growing up and everything. There's stuff I don't like, nd can't empaphize with but I'm not sure I'd like you to change it, because as well as the stabby realiation of other people it reminds you of the massive void as well. Thanks.
8/31/2009 c1 
82Solemn Coyote
As a matter of pride, I do my best to leave long, thoughtful reviews. Unfortunately, this story has me in its grips and it's making it really hard to do just that. The best I can do here is to say that I didn't find any obvious mistakes of spelling or grammar, and that what you wrote feels both intensely autobiographical and very relatable, and that I absolutely love the line "Worry about August, because it's an in-between month, when the light starts to die."
-sc
82Solemn CoyoteAs a matter of pride, I do my best to leave long, thoughtful reviews. Unfortunately, this story has me in its grips and it's making it really hard to do just that. The best I can do here is to say that I didn't find any obvious mistakes of spelling or grammar, and that what you wrote feels both intensely autobiographical and very relatable, and that I absolutely love the line "Worry about August, because it's an in-between month, when the light starts to die."
-sc