for The Anticliche3/22/2011 c2 
12Loqwell
I read your summary and just had to read this. The "Anticliche;" what an absolutely lovely and amusing idea. I will admit I skipped straight to the second one as I read about it in the summary, and was intrigued.
The flashbacks are a source of slight dissension for me; I like them and I don't. I liked the way you tied them into what was going on in the present, yet it almost felt choppy being repeatedly thrust back and forth: present, past, present, past.
However, I do think you did rather well showing the main character's feelings towards Trish without saying them outright until the end. The attention to detail she uses when speaking of Trish's actions, even when the descriptions aren't so very nice, seem to be said with a fondness of tone and were a very, very nice touch.
I also think I feel a bit in love with the descriptions "coiled and cankaterous like a pregnant rattlesnake,""the color and consistency of cough-syrup and congealing blood, corrugated by steel highrises" and "candy-and-vinegar toxic sweetness for childlike, snowflake-white malice." Yep, I think I did.
~Loqwell
12LoqwellI read your summary and just had to read this. The "Anticliche;" what an absolutely lovely and amusing idea. I will admit I skipped straight to the second one as I read about it in the summary, and was intrigued.
The flashbacks are a source of slight dissension for me; I like them and I don't. I liked the way you tied them into what was going on in the present, yet it almost felt choppy being repeatedly thrust back and forth: present, past, present, past.
However, I do think you did rather well showing the main character's feelings towards Trish without saying them outright until the end. The attention to detail she uses when speaking of Trish's actions, even when the descriptions aren't so very nice, seem to be said with a fondness of tone and were a very, very nice touch.
I also think I feel a bit in love with the descriptions "coiled and cankaterous like a pregnant rattlesnake,""the color and consistency of cough-syrup and congealing blood, corrugated by steel highrises" and "candy-and-vinegar toxic sweetness for childlike, snowflake-white malice." Yep, I think I did.
~Loqwell
12/13/2010 c1 hey
IDK WHY IT ISNT WORKING BUT ITS CALLED TVTROPES GOOGLE IT MKAY
IDK WHY IT ISNT WORKING BUT ITS CALLED TVTROPES GOOGLE IT MKAY
12/13/2010 c1 hi
the website didnt show up
its
w DOT
tvtropes DOT
org
the website didnt show up
its
w DOT
tvtropes DOT
org
12/12/2010 c1 hi
I'm a huge fan of your writing
I'd like to recommend a website
I feel as if you would enjoy it, and it deals with cliches and such
I'm a huge fan of your writing
I'd like to recommend a website
I feel as if you would enjoy it, and it deals with cliches and such
10/6/2010 c1 20Skyward Ending
For some reason this whole fic feels so familiar it's eerie...I have a younger brother but he's 13. Again, I love your language, your writing, and the very situation itself. The *language,* ah, I adore it. The way you use words that are not necessarily part of everyday speech is wonderful, for somehow you can make them fit in without being awkwardly formal. How you flash back puts everything in perspective, for otherwise the whole story would be a bit of a flop-as it is, I love the little snippets of history, and the way you go back and forth from present to past is great. However, I'm not sure how anyone could swear picturesquely. All in all, though, this piece was delicious.
20Skyward EndingFor some reason this whole fic feels so familiar it's eerie...I have a younger brother but he's 13. Again, I love your language, your writing, and the very situation itself. The *language,* ah, I adore it. The way you use words that are not necessarily part of everyday speech is wonderful, for somehow you can make them fit in without being awkwardly formal. How you flash back puts everything in perspective, for otherwise the whole story would be a bit of a flop-as it is, I love the little snippets of history, and the way you go back and forth from present to past is great. However, I'm not sure how anyone could swear picturesquely. All in all, though, this piece was delicious.
12/15/2009 c1 4Luthienflicker
Well-written and well thought out. :]
I especially enjoyed the way you developed the characters. The way she slowly changed her opinion on him was so realistic...
The only thing I was a bit confused about was the flashback with the muffins..."But I wasn't and you kiss me - even though you don't want to -..."
Like what..on the forehead? .
4LuthienflickerWell-written and well thought out. :]
I especially enjoyed the way you developed the characters. The way she slowly changed her opinion on him was so realistic...
The only thing I was a bit confused about was the flashback with the muffins..."But I wasn't and you kiss me - even though you don't want to -..."
Like what..on the forehead? .
9/18/2009 c1 haruku
As usual, I really like this story!
(Actually, I'm pretty sure I like all of your stories)
There's going to be a part two right? :]
Anyway.
Who's Jared? He's mentioned, but who is he?
&
"With a malovalent crackle of farewell, it shudders to a stop."
^ isn't it malevolent?
As usual, I really like this story!
(Actually, I'm pretty sure I like all of your stories)
There's going to be a part two right? :]
Anyway.
Who's Jared? He's mentioned, but who is he?
&
"With a malovalent crackle of farewell, it shudders to a stop."
^ isn't it malevolent?
9/4/2009 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
Cliches aside, I enjoyed your story. Each of the characters had a clear and defined personality, although having said that I felt that it was a bit hard to understand what was going on at times.
I liked how you went back and forth in time to describe the story, but because you wrote it that way it was hard to imagine what was present and what was past. I though that the narrator was a boy at first, then a girl. Although I liked that you used first person narrative. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I liked your story, but I think if you added a few more notes of detail it would really go a long way to strengthening it. Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
Jules, via the Review Marathon (link in my profile)
1k+Faithless JulietCliches aside, I enjoyed your story. Each of the characters had a clear and defined personality, although having said that I felt that it was a bit hard to understand what was going on at times.
I liked how you went back and forth in time to describe the story, but because you wrote it that way it was hard to imagine what was present and what was past. I though that the narrator was a boy at first, then a girl. Although I liked that you used first person narrative. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I liked your story, but I think if you added a few more notes of detail it would really go a long way to strengthening it. Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
Jules, via the Review Marathon (link in my profile)
9/4/2009 c1 13Marie St. John
Beautiful!
Wonderfully told story. I love the switch on the cliche! And I was captured by the first sentence. Always so thoroughly described, your stories are like watching films, and I always end up falling in love with the characters. The dialogue was wonderful, the flashbacks were perfectly timed and kept a good rhythm. Lots of times when stories have flashbacks this is not the case - I'm totally impressed with your skill.
I would love to point out something for you to fix or work on - not just because writer's like to perfect their craft, but because it would make me feel better ;) - but I can't! I'd probably have to read this ten times before I found some miniscule thing to change and that is just not necessary.
Something else I love is how thorough you describe the scenes and characters, all the while managing to leave that veil for the readers imagination to see through - to see 'them' through. If you know what I mean...Very personable, this story.
feeling slightly worshipful...Aranel
13Marie St. JohnBeautiful!
Wonderfully told story. I love the switch on the cliche! And I was captured by the first sentence. Always so thoroughly described, your stories are like watching films, and I always end up falling in love with the characters. The dialogue was wonderful, the flashbacks were perfectly timed and kept a good rhythm. Lots of times when stories have flashbacks this is not the case - I'm totally impressed with your skill.
I would love to point out something for you to fix or work on - not just because writer's like to perfect their craft, but because it would make me feel better ;) - but I can't! I'd probably have to read this ten times before I found some miniscule thing to change and that is just not necessary.
Something else I love is how thorough you describe the scenes and characters, all the while managing to leave that veil for the readers imagination to see through - to see 'them' through. If you know what I mean...Very personable, this story.
feeling slightly worshipful...Aranel
9/3/2009 c1 17katietheunicorn
Hiya!
I LOVED this entry! :D
I was a bit confused about the italics until I realized they were flashbacks during the course of a normal story. Maybe you could've formatted it diffrently?
Otherwise, your imagrey is beautiful and I really got into this and could even relate to the characters a little.
Watch it, I might vote for you instead of myself! (^O^ Of course I will...who votes for themselves...)
17katietheunicornHiya!
I LOVED this entry! :D
I was a bit confused about the italics until I realized they were flashbacks during the course of a normal story. Maybe you could've formatted it diffrently?
Otherwise, your imagrey is beautiful and I really got into this and could even relate to the characters a little.
Watch it, I might vote for you instead of myself! (^O^ Of course I will...who votes for themselves...)