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for The Bright Side

7/18/2010 c21 4Garneau
Hi there,

I really like the idea of the parents and elders forming a council. It makes the whole powers idea seem more mystical.

As for the powers, I can see a lot of influences from pop culture, but I don't mind it. I thought the photosynthesis idea was an interesting and different power. As well as the astral projection.

I think George got the short end of the stick, with his listening abilities though hahahaha. Derek seems to resemble a 'Heros' character. Was the tv show a big inspiration to you story?

I have to admit I only made the connection with the mention of Derek's powers.

Anyway, I hope you don't fall into a similar storyline as the tv show, but keep it fresh and originally as you have been doing!

Garneaul
7/17/2010 c21 xPrettyX
Omg I know you just updated yesterday but I can't wait for more. I have to know what is going to happen in the council. lol. But the story is great so far and the plot keeps twisting and turning. Except for a few typos the only negative thing I have to say about it is that I don't like Tyler changing from a bad guy to a goody goody two shoes. lol. But I can't wait to you update again! :)
7/17/2010 c10 xPrettyX
I like how you are setting up and decent story line for the characters so far. I can feel something major is about to happen and I can't wait! The murdered woman in the woods was just the beggining!
7/12/2010 c20 Xenell
Finally! More writing! Huzzah! Ahem, to the review. As always, I gobbled up this chapter. I really like how personal this part is, with more character development for Derek. For some reason, the side comments really stood out for me this time, especially at the end. Keep up the good work!
7/7/2010 c20 Garneau
I'm so glad that my review was able to inspire you!

Unfortunately this time I can't write as much without repeating things ;)

I love that Derek wears flannelette! It's cute and makes his character seem more accessible.

You have brought up some more interesting ideas in this chatper with Dereck mentioning his parents ability to help. Maybe you said something about that earlier on, but I'll be honest, I might have forgotten.

I really like Trina's rant in the middle of this. It's says so much about her current situation and where she stands psychologically. Plus it's really well written and amusing to read. You can really sense how frustrated she is with it all.

On the other hand, Derek's was quite long and really full of details. Maybe you could break it up a bit more, because it was a lot to comprehend in his solid, uninterrupted speech.

Anyway, great chatper and I'm interested to see what happens next,

Garneau.
6/26/2010 c19 Garneau
Oh my gosh! Way to end on a cliffhanger!

This is amazingly well written. There are a few errors/typos that can easily be corrected, but other than that I'm pretty addicted to your style of writing. The storyline flows extremely smoothly and unforced. I love the play of events.

You write very descriptively and thoroughly, I really like it. It allows me to picture everything that is happening. I still have to admit, I love the first chapter the best. It seems to have been extremely carefully edited and did I mention it was well written ;)

The dialogue is also extremely well written and works well in the various contexts.

This is definitely one of those stories that has you constantly on the edge of your seat, anticipating what happens next. Once I start thinking your going in a certain direction with the plot, you completely flip it on its head and veer off the other way. I love the suspense.

In the intial chapters, I had felt that you made Trina's observations about the group of friends abnormalties a bit to direct. I thought you could have used a bit more subtelty, but if you focus on the story as a whole, the way you have written it coincides very well with misleading and planitng ideas in readers minds. At least you did that for me.

I seriously had no idea where you were going with this story. One minute you had us all believing that the serial killer was Derek and his friends, the next you have this eerie powers thing going on.

Not only was I not repulsed by the supernatural powers as I often can be, but I am thrilled to find out Trina's own gifts (lightning/electricity?)and the extent of her use of them. I have no idea how you are going to explain how these strange phenonoms and talents came to be possessed by these characters, but I can't wait to read what you do decide.

In terms of characters, I really like Trina. As you have probably read in my story, I have a few issues with establishing the protagonist, you on the other hand, are able to reveal enough about the character without her sounding self centered. Derek and his posse still remain a bit of a mystery to me. I don't know how to judge them, but that all fits in with the plot. As for Brown, he is adorable as the consolable, protective brother. His character adds a touch of humour and ligthness, especially when the situation can be a bit dark (eg. the lion situation). I probably find the most difficult character to understand is Tyler. He was introduced with having very malovent intentions, yet he's seems like a pillar of support to Trina regardless of what happened/what was going to happen at Derek's party. By the way, I love that Derek is slightly ignorant of his good looks and his status amongst the female population. It gives a very fresh out look on the male love interest.

If I had to point out one of the inconsistancies I noticed (unless I skipped over some part by accident), in the earlier chapters you placed an emphasis on Trina's desire for a mobile phone. In the 'date' chatper (I think), she is texting Jazz or Jennifer on [her] phone. As you can see this is a very very minor and insignificant misallignment, that does not at all destroy the flow of the story.

Anyway, I can't wait for you to update,

Garneau.
6/26/2010 c1 Garneau
Hi,

This is an extremely impressive chapter to start your story. It is very well written, especially the first half where you capture the actions and thoughts of your protagonist in a very descriptive manner.

Your style is extremely visual and descriptive and works very well with what you have written.

I can't wait to read the reast of the chatpers.

Garneau.
3/13/2010 c19 Erin
Just started reading your story, but it's very interesting and I look forward to later chapters and further development with it.
2/22/2010 c18 13rollinby
interesting :P
12/10/2009 c16 Death-takes-its-toll
I just started reading your story and I keep meaning to review at the end of chapters, but I was just so eager for more that I kind of put it off for a long time. Wow, I am absolutely enthralled by the plot. I won't lie, a few times I almost thought, 'Oh please, here comes another cliche, and then this story will end the same way all the other ones do.' But everytime I start to think that, suddenly you throw something new at me. Even if it's just something small, you add interesting and unique aspects into the storyline. I love it. Oh, and just top clarify, that whole rant wasn't me trying to say that your story is cliche, quite the opposite. I'm seriously feeling really frustrated now that I don't have another chapter to instantly read, so I guess I'll take a break from fictionpress. Haha. Thanks so much for the hours of entertainment I just received from your story, and I say that in absolute sincerity. I am very hopeful that more will be out soon.

-M
11/16/2009 c13 JEN-JO
another great chapter. i noticed i hadnt reviewed this chapter or the one before so i went back and reviewed
11/16/2009 c12 JEN-JO
great chapter
11/16/2009 c15 JEN-JO
cant wait for more
11/16/2009 c14 JEN-JO
great chapter
9/28/2009 c11 JEN-JO
great chapter, thanks for updating
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