for Alex: White Tiger4/15/2013 c27 
15Aaron Ledgers
Would you like me to draw a professional commission of Alex? For Free? She really interests me for some reason, and I think I could catch her spunky personality down on paper really easily... and I have a thing for neko girls, so the tiger ears and tiger tail would be easy to draw poking out from under her beanie.
15Aaron LedgersWould you like me to draw a professional commission of Alex? For Free? She really interests me for some reason, and I think I could catch her spunky personality down on paper really easily... and I have a thing for neko girls, so the tiger ears and tiger tail would be easy to draw poking out from under her beanie.
4/15/2013 c27 Aria657
:P Oh Alex...
I love her relationship with Adam because it's adorable (and her confusion with Darren is extremely frustrating but also understandable. :P). I'm just kinda randomly wondering now but when do they have finals?
Like what's the time line right now?
:P Oh Alex...
I love her relationship with Adam because it's adorable (and her confusion with Darren is extremely frustrating but also understandable. :P). I'm just kinda randomly wondering now but when do they have finals?
Like what's the time line right now?
4/15/2013 c27 AlpacaOverlord
I'm glad you continued writing this story. If there is anything I don't like about this it would be that Alex is so determined to be 'tough' that she seems kind of like a robot now. Poor Darren.
The only 'issues' with this chapter were a few tense errors. I don't really care about them though; I'm just happy the chapter is up.
I'm glad you continued writing this story. If there is anything I don't like about this it would be that Alex is so determined to be 'tough' that she seems kind of like a robot now. Poor Darren.
The only 'issues' with this chapter were a few tense errors. I don't really care about them though; I'm just happy the chapter is up.
4/13/2013 c26 Aria657
... Wow...
This was... intense?
I definitely kinda understand why she doesn't want to get close to anybody.
And I love that she has tiger ears and a tail because that sounds kinda fucking awesome and adorable (you know if it wouldn't get you killed. :P)
IDK if you're still writing this but if so I can't wait for another chapter!
... Wow...
This was... intense?
I definitely kinda understand why she doesn't want to get close to anybody.
And I love that she has tiger ears and a tail because that sounds kinda fucking awesome and adorable (you know if it wouldn't get you killed. :P)
IDK if you're still writing this but if so I can't wait for another chapter!
4/5/2013 c26 Mewbaraue
You may call yourself a horrible writer, but I disagree. You let people read your story, you care enough about your story to rewrite the entire thing and you care enough about your readers to apologize for uploading chapters “late”, even though it’s entirely up to you when they are being uploaded.
If anything, the ones who read your story and do not leave a review are the horrible ones. That especially includes me, as I have followed this story for a long time without reviewing. I hope this sort of makes up for it.
-
The story is great overall but there are some things I think are important to mention.
One of them is how Alex’s and Darren’s relationship changes throughout the story. At the beginning it’s obvious that they dislike, if not hate, each other, but it gradually changes throughout the story and it feels natural. Alex then closes herself off and Darren takes it upon himself to make her open up again. I like it as it adds more excitement to the story, because what is Darren the going to do? Is he going to succeed? etc.
Another thing I like is the readers are told that Alex and Darren actually knew each other. It is yet another thing that helps explaining why they fall for each other. They used to be the best of friends (and in love for each other from what I understand), so it makes sense that it continues when they meet again, even if they are not aware of their connection at first.
If there’s a thing I don’t like, it’s how little time is spent on the bad guys. Sure, they are mentioned a lot and show up to ruin the day, but without a name/face, I find it hard to hate them for long. They sort of slip out of my mind until they show up again. I hate Terry more than I hate them, simply because I get to know Terry a little.
The way the story follows one character at a time is nice. Getting to know what they think/feel and why the do what they do helps me understand the characters, and it makes it easier for me to like them. It’s also a good thing you have limited yourself to a few of the characters, as following someone like Georgia would be a waste of time (and annoying).
Speaking of characters, I have mainly got good things to say. They all have their own personality and you make sure they stay true to that throughout the story. At the same time, one can really see how the characters affect each other and how they change because of this. There is no sudden change that happens out of the blue.
You have hit the right amount of characters as well. It starts out with a few of them and when others are introduced, it feels natural and I have no problems remembering who’s who.
If I am to give some criticism with regards to characters, it would, again, be the bad guys. Again the fact that they are only introduced as people who hunt Alex, not as actual humans I can form an opinion about. They seem sort of boring, as I have no way of knowing how they are as humans.
While I don’t find the bad guys that interesting, I love the humor in the story. There are a lot of parts that makes me laugh (for example the part where Alex tells her father who Darren’s parents are, just to mention one) and they‘re all a natural part of the story. None of it feels forced.
The last thing I’ve got to say is about something that always jumps out at me when I read: Grammatical errors and missing words. You are very good at writing, but there are a few places here and there, where a wrong word has been used (I think I saw a your/you’re mistake somewhere) and a few places where words are missing from a sentence. It’s not a lot of places (0-2 per chapter, I think), but it’s there.
I know well it isn’t easy to catch all the mistakes (hell, I have probably made some, if not a lot, throughout this review), but if you find the time at some point, it would be worth looking at. However, don’t bother doing it now unless you really, really want to. With the small amount we’re talking about, it’s not that important.
-
I hope this review was at least somewhat useful to you and not the mess it looks like to me. I thank you for letting all of us read this great story and wish you good luck with it in the future.
I’m eagerly waiting for more.
Mewbaraue
You may call yourself a horrible writer, but I disagree. You let people read your story, you care enough about your story to rewrite the entire thing and you care enough about your readers to apologize for uploading chapters “late”, even though it’s entirely up to you when they are being uploaded.
If anything, the ones who read your story and do not leave a review are the horrible ones. That especially includes me, as I have followed this story for a long time without reviewing. I hope this sort of makes up for it.
-
The story is great overall but there are some things I think are important to mention.
One of them is how Alex’s and Darren’s relationship changes throughout the story. At the beginning it’s obvious that they dislike, if not hate, each other, but it gradually changes throughout the story and it feels natural. Alex then closes herself off and Darren takes it upon himself to make her open up again. I like it as it adds more excitement to the story, because what is Darren the going to do? Is he going to succeed? etc.
Another thing I like is the readers are told that Alex and Darren actually knew each other. It is yet another thing that helps explaining why they fall for each other. They used to be the best of friends (and in love for each other from what I understand), so it makes sense that it continues when they meet again, even if they are not aware of their connection at first.
If there’s a thing I don’t like, it’s how little time is spent on the bad guys. Sure, they are mentioned a lot and show up to ruin the day, but without a name/face, I find it hard to hate them for long. They sort of slip out of my mind until they show up again. I hate Terry more than I hate them, simply because I get to know Terry a little.
The way the story follows one character at a time is nice. Getting to know what they think/feel and why the do what they do helps me understand the characters, and it makes it easier for me to like them. It’s also a good thing you have limited yourself to a few of the characters, as following someone like Georgia would be a waste of time (and annoying).
Speaking of characters, I have mainly got good things to say. They all have their own personality and you make sure they stay true to that throughout the story. At the same time, one can really see how the characters affect each other and how they change because of this. There is no sudden change that happens out of the blue.
You have hit the right amount of characters as well. It starts out with a few of them and when others are introduced, it feels natural and I have no problems remembering who’s who.
If I am to give some criticism with regards to characters, it would, again, be the bad guys. Again the fact that they are only introduced as people who hunt Alex, not as actual humans I can form an opinion about. They seem sort of boring, as I have no way of knowing how they are as humans.
While I don’t find the bad guys that interesting, I love the humor in the story. There are a lot of parts that makes me laugh (for example the part where Alex tells her father who Darren’s parents are, just to mention one) and they‘re all a natural part of the story. None of it feels forced.
The last thing I’ve got to say is about something that always jumps out at me when I read: Grammatical errors and missing words. You are very good at writing, but there are a few places here and there, where a wrong word has been used (I think I saw a your/you’re mistake somewhere) and a few places where words are missing from a sentence. It’s not a lot of places (0-2 per chapter, I think), but it’s there.
I know well it isn’t easy to catch all the mistakes (hell, I have probably made some, if not a lot, throughout this review), but if you find the time at some point, it would be worth looking at. However, don’t bother doing it now unless you really, really want to. With the small amount we’re talking about, it’s not that important.
-
I hope this review was at least somewhat useful to you and not the mess it looks like to me. I thank you for letting all of us read this great story and wish you good luck with it in the future.
I’m eagerly waiting for more.
Mewbaraue
12/29/2012 c1 AlpacaOverlord
I found this story yesterday and I've been reading it since. This is really great. I loved what you were doing to Darren! I can't wait for the update.
I found this story yesterday and I've been reading it since. This is really great. I loved what you were doing to Darren! I can't wait for the update.
12/27/2012 c26 lover
Even though it it angst, I still love where the story is going. I love that her fears are based in something worse than daddy issues (not that those are not legitimate, they are, but that those are overdone). Alex, please stop fighting and let Darren help you!
Even though it it angst, I still love where the story is going. I love that her fears are based in something worse than daddy issues (not that those are not legitimate, they are, but that those are overdone). Alex, please stop fighting and let Darren help you!
12/27/2012 c26 contrary
Im really not liking Alex now. Sorry to say, but this story is going down the drain with its ultimate cliqueness and mainly the same things, again and again. Please do something new and original.
Contraru
Im really not liking Alex now. Sorry to say, but this story is going down the drain with its ultimate cliqueness and mainly the same things, again and again. Please do something new and original.
Contraru
12/20/2012 c25 lover
Cliffhanger. Obviously, I am upset about that, but update swiftly and all will be forgiven!
I like the different perspectives in this chapter and how Alex is pushing herself because that is just who she is. The fact that Darren notices all her little struggles is adorable and I love it. Love your story!
Cliffhanger. Obviously, I am upset about that, but update swiftly and all will be forgiven!
I like the different perspectives in this chapter and how Alex is pushing herself because that is just who she is. The fact that Darren notices all her little struggles is adorable and I love it. Love your story!
12/18/2012 c24 Dinobunny
Noooo! Poor Darren! and huh. I thought Ethan liked her in the beginning but as the story progressed, I abandoned that notion and now...a love triangle! Tobias and roderick are so cute tgt! xD
Noooo! Poor Darren! and huh. I thought Ethan liked her in the beginning but as the story progressed, I abandoned that notion and now...a love triangle! Tobias and roderick are so cute tgt! xD
12/17/2012 c24 lover
Yet another chapter that sucked me in. I really like where you are going with this story. Oh, and I forgive you for choosing a story line over straight fluff (see previous comment). Thank you, thank you, thank you for updating swiftly!
Yet another chapter that sucked me in. I really like where you are going with this story. Oh, and I forgive you for choosing a story line over straight fluff (see previous comment). Thank you, thank you, thank you for updating swiftly!
12/16/2012 c24 Fiery Dancer
WHO'S ELLIS? Unless I've completely forgotten something ... Anyway! Why more angst? Why? They're just so awesome together! But am really excited of the rod/Tobias development! Hehe and those two are so cute together in ties ;)
WHO'S ELLIS? Unless I've completely forgotten something ... Anyway! Why more angst? Why? They're just so awesome together! But am really excited of the rod/Tobias development! Hehe and those two are so cute together in ties ;)
12/16/2012 c24 contrary
Not into slash but love the t/r romance! I dont think alex should reject d its not in her character. Just kiss already! Nice the just in love triangle. Update!
Not into slash but love the t/r romance! I dont think alex should reject d its not in her character. Just kiss already! Nice the just in love triangle. Update!