for Chosen Blood9/16/2009 c1 
11R. Lauden
The prologue is interesting. There is a lot of telling. I understand that it is a prologue, but maybe you could start with some action. Create a scene of the main character at her desert home or something.
You need to grab the attention of the reader from the get-go. I would be interested in seeing the first chapter.
R.
11R. LaudenThe prologue is interesting. There is a lot of telling. I understand that it is a prologue, but maybe you could start with some action. Create a scene of the main character at her desert home or something.
You need to grab the attention of the reader from the get-go. I would be interested in seeing the first chapter.
R.