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10/19/2009 c6 48Michael Panush
This was a good chapter, and I liked the long fight and the appearance of Ah Tian's brother, who seems a pretty cool character and welcome addition to the story. My only complaint (besides the modern language) is that it seemed to kill off three cool villains in one squabble. I'd rather a fight with such a casulty count would stretch longer, maybe in some different locales with other scenes in between, and perhaps stretching a few more chapters, before all those cool villains met their ends. Some of the switching to Sword-Tosser's past was also a bit confusing. Other than that it was a lot of fun and I'll keep on reading.
10/12/2009 c5 Michael Panush
This was a good chapter. The setting is great, with the towns having very distinct feels. I also liked the character development, and the conversations between Ah Tien and Zhu was pretty good. Some bits, such as Ah Tien getting uncomfortable and the other characters remaking on it, seemed like they should be danced around by the others, instead of being directly addressed. I'm really enjoying this series and thanks for writing it!
10/12/2009 c4 Michael Panush
This was a pretty good chapter. The general plot seems to be taking shape and I've always loved these 'clean up the town' stories, whether they're Kung-Fu tales or Westerns. You have some very cool villains. Apart from Sword Tosser, they all seem relatively affable, but they may have hidden depths of evil that show up later on, which is something a lot of writers fail at, by having their villains munching on babies or something when they first show up. Some of the prose, particularly dealing with the sexy stuff, did seem a little awkward and purple, but it was otherwise okay. Good job and I'll be sure to check out the rest.
10/10/2009 c3 Michael Panush
This is a very good chapter, and now that the main plot is begining to form, I'm liking it even more. I like the battles and there are some very cool characters, especially the bad guys around. Some of the modern words are particularly out of place, like 'frigging' and 'correspondence course' but that's pretty much the only problem I can think of so far. I'm very interested to see how Ah Tian will clean up the town, and I want to learn more about the very cool (and evil) Devil Gang.
10/9/2009 c2 Michael Panush
This was a very good chapter. The fight was awesome and exciting and the characters and setting were very cool. My only complaints are that the fight seemed to run a little long and got kind of monotonous twoards the end, and the modern phrases, like 'okay' and such, don't seem to fit very well with the setting. Those are niggling issues though. Another thing that was a bit odd was showing the thoughts and perspectives of multiple characters, instead of just foucusing on one. I think restricting that to one character would definetly benefit the story. But you certainly have me hooked and I can't wait to read the next one.
10/8/2009 c1 Michael Panush
That was very good! I liked this world you created a lot, and your writing was also excellent. The descriptions of the characters, the names, the battles, the weapons, all of it was top notch and really drew me into this awesome kung-fu world. My only real complaint so far is that some of the dialogue doesn't really fit the setting. You have little kids saying stuff like 'mom' which seems too modern, and doesn't really fit into this world. 'Mother' would work better. There are a few other examples of this, where characters speak in a modern way, but the dialogue is mostly pretty good. I look forward to reading the rest of them!
9/29/2009 c6 JaveHarron
A nice and brutal fight here! I kept thinking of Garr like a Norse berserker. I am amazed how fast you can write these chapters with such length. Keep it up!
9/26/2009 c4 JaveHarron
Fun set up so far. Devil Gangs, martial arts groups, and awesome exaggerated fights. I do have a comment, though. There are occassional lines that don't seem to fit in, like "Whatever, he told himself. I’m a professional fighter, not a freakin’ super-hero…" Perhaps mentioning "Heavenly King" or "legendary hero" could work, since this fantasy China based setting may not know what a superhero is.
9/24/2009 c6 Zarunak
i like it, very promising. though i find Tian to be a bit of an idiot. he is clearly far more skilled than the guy with the axe but he didn't show that skill level until after he was seriously wounded.

furthermore, the injuries you described should be far more debilitating than you made them out to be. a cut to the shoulder should reduce his arm's mobility by half... or more.

still your battle sequences are epic. and i look forward to more of your story.
9/21/2009 c3 619Jave Harron
A nice fight with the Devil Gang and some more plot direction. I do have a question about this world. Does anyone use a crossbow (like the real life Chinese repeating crossbow) or use black powder?
9/19/2009 c2 JaveHarron
You're making pretty fast progress with this. In this chapter, the fight scene between the martial artists was very well done. Ah Tian is pretty kick ass. Even though this is wuxia, kind of curious why few people are using only weapons, rather than just unarmed motions.
9/19/2009 c1 Phillys
Great so far! I like this site. I didn't know it existed. Thanks. I WILL continue reading your work.
9/18/2009 c1 dreamshell
This is off to a great start so far, DeepSeaDragon. I definitely see a lot of influence from martial arts cinema. I'm wondering why you chose to do original stuff as opposed to using an historical setting, but maybe things didn't fit together exactly and you wanted more freedom or something. At any rate, I hope to read more. =D
9/18/2009 c1 Jave Harron
A very promising beginning to a pretty cool story. It's nice to see a wuxia themed fantasy instead of the countless Tolkien clones, half assed romances, and samurai related crap. The Chinese styled setting is pretty cool, as are the characters. Will read more of this!
9/17/2009 c1 Kinarii
Haha, this totally got me out of the weather-induced slump I've been in the past couple days. Thanks for putting it up here!
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