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for Love Letters to My Disease

9/4/2010 c5 12Aderyn Azula
this night not be my favorite style of poem, but it works. the ending is the best part- really powerful
9/4/2010 c4 Aderyn Azula
wow. this poem is really powerful. the emotions and anger were spot on
9/4/2010 c3 Aderyn Azula
this poem seems really song-like to me, i can almost hear it being sung i love the variety you're giving each poem- they have the same theme, but not the same style
9/4/2010 c2 Aderyn Azula
again, very good- not as strong as the first one, but still good

ps- I'm trying to review every chapter i read now, after reading that note in your profile. i only wish people would do the same with my stories now :D
9/4/2010 c1 Aderyn Azula
really nice imagery here :D i love the overall metaphor of the abusive lover too
11/28/2009 c1 27Lyllyth
Wow, I've never thought of OCD this way before. I love it. I love the way you personify your disease. In the beginning it really feels like a love/hate letter to another person, and then you subtly slip the OCD references in. The part about not sanitizing the crown made me laugh.

This was my favorite verse:

"I hate you about as much as I love you;

that’s how much I despise you.

Oh, yes, I loathe you."

This was a very interesting poem
11/28/2009 c1 Farnblorp
Creepy... Sadly, I can relate. I have learned recently that I have OCD - I never would have thought, since I don't really act on it often. It is all in my thoughts. Repetitive, intrusive, distracting, disturbing. It really is a pain to deal with.

I don't mean to be picky (though I really do) but near the end, in the line "because you love any affect you have on me.", was the word supposed to be 'effect' or 'affect'?

I'm not much of a poetry buff so I can't give you a proper critique. OCD is rather troublesome... May your mind be still and your thoughts your own.
10/14/2009 c1 8koolkat104
Wow. Great job! I loved this because of your excellent choice of words. How you wrote this thing is amazing. I cant' think of anything I would like to change about this. It seems like you just let yourself go, which is what I love to see in poems. Great job, yet again!
9/24/2009 c1 17katietheunicorn
This was absolutley wonderful. A story in itself. I really felt the power and meaning (truth) behind every line, since the way you wrote them was precise and beautiful and to the point.

I also enjoyed it because it was so metaphorical, rather than literal. This way a person has to look beyond the words and rack their brain just a bit more to understand and get into it. Your formatting was spot on, which I'm glad for because sometimes wrong formatting can trip up a peice.

Good job!

9/24/2009 c1 Isca
"I know you are still there." I love the tone of this line. There's something so quiet and gentle about it (which makes the 'psychological' nature of the poem that much more dark and profound).

"The absence of light that feeds when I lay in the dark." Darkness that feeds on darkness? I like that idea-it's pretty powerful.

I like all of the talk about 'mind mansions.' The idea of a 'memory palace' is something that has always fascinated me.

"Tartarus." Excellent allusion.

"I know you are still waiting." I like the way in which this line sort of ties the piece together. The ending is quite catchy and haunting.

Keep up the good work,


(The Review Game - Poems - Easy Fix)
9/18/2009 c1 Bellanyx
This is a very passionate piece with strong imagery. You show a flair for writing metaphors. My favourite line in this piece has to be "You’re the lover I’ve always had/ but never wanted." It shows strong contrast between love and hate and the fact you choose a lover as metaphor for your OCD shows how deeply intimate and familiar the disease becomes.

All in all, a very successful piece with a strong ending.

Keep Writing!

9/18/2009 c1 11HiddenFromYou
This poem was quietly powerful. When I first looked at it I thought it might have been a little long, but after reading it I could see it was just the right length. You didn't repeat yourself and you got across the point you were making, without making it too obvious.

You end the poem on a sense of dread of what's to come and I really felt that. Good writing.

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