for Martyr10/9/2009 c1 
174a silenced revolution
emotionally, visually gripping with great imagery and word choice. my favourite lines are "I look across borders / And it appears that I’m looking in the mirror."
the only way i think it might be improved is if you organised it a little more, into stanzas, or added some punctuation for clarity. it just seems a little too long to be one long stream of words. just an idea though, and it's good work as is.
174a silenced revolutionemotionally, visually gripping with great imagery and word choice. my favourite lines are "I look across borders / And it appears that I’m looking in the mirror."
the only way i think it might be improved is if you organised it a little more, into stanzas, or added some punctuation for clarity. it just seems a little too long to be one long stream of words. just an idea though, and it's good work as is.