for my african eventoed ungulate mammal10/7/2009 c1 she smolders
There's a certain grace in your poetry that I love reading. And the way you describe this girl is beautiful and earnest in a way that makes me feel a little in love with her too. Take care.
There's a certain grace in your poetry that I love reading. And the way you describe this girl is beautiful and earnest in a way that makes me feel a little in love with her too. Take care.
10/7/2009 c1 
51for shame
this is beautiful.
it's the strangest comparison i've read for a while, but it's so lovely and peaceful that i can't help but love it. there's a very calm, "i understand" sort of tone to this poem.
you amaze me, yet again.
(:
51for shamethis is beautiful.
it's the strangest comparison i've read for a while, but it's so lovely and peaceful that i can't help but love it. there's a very calm, "i understand" sort of tone to this poem.
you amaze me, yet again.
(:
9/26/2009 c1 236mezzie
lovely... so much wonderful phrasing in this that sinks in and resonates well with your line "I ruminate her name, tasting it twice, until I've turned it inside out"
there is an excellent balance and rhythm to the beginning - "bend knee, life, pose, consider"
very nice :)
236mezzielovely... so much wonderful phrasing in this that sinks in and resonates well with your line "I ruminate her name, tasting it twice, until I've turned it inside out"
there is an excellent balance and rhythm to the beginning - "bend knee, life, pose, consider"
very nice :)
9/25/2009 c1 Isca
"She moves like a giraffe through a river bend." Beautiful simile. The 'nature' imagery here is both vivid and serene.
"Quietly exploding." Excellent. I love when writers use oxymorons like this.
"Beg for her footprints." Interesting.
"I'd like to speak to her." I like that this line is relatable-we all tend to 'freeze up' when we meet someone and are shy around them.
"My african, even-toed, ungulate mammal." Brilliant.
"I have a second heart." FASCINATING! :D
"She moves like a giraffe through a river bend." Beautiful simile. The 'nature' imagery here is both vivid and serene.
"Quietly exploding." Excellent. I love when writers use oxymorons like this.
"Beg for her footprints." Interesting.
"I'd like to speak to her." I like that this line is relatable-we all tend to 'freeze up' when we meet someone and are shy around them.
"My african, even-toed, ungulate mammal." Brilliant.
"I have a second heart." FASCINATING! :D