for A Poor Investment2/7/2010 c1 
23Damien Vlashtov
Ahh, very nice. It seems perfectly honest. One critique I have is the inconsistent use of "it just feels like a bad trade". I would remove the second use of this in the third stanza. If you must repeat it, do it at the end-in its current location, it doesn't add to the flow of the piece and thus comes off as redundant. Besides this, excellent job conveying your emotion.
23Damien VlashtovAhh, very nice. It seems perfectly honest. One critique I have is the inconsistent use of "it just feels like a bad trade". I would remove the second use of this in the third stanza. If you must repeat it, do it at the end-in its current location, it doesn't add to the flow of the piece and thus comes off as redundant. Besides this, excellent job conveying your emotion.