
10/17/2009 c1
45deefective
Hm, on one hand I like the idea around this piece. The narrator's need to convince herself that she is not falling in love with the same person all over again and all that. I can see it clearly through your words so that's good. But at the same time I felt like the emotion was lacking. I dunno what it is but I think this piece could've used a bit more "oomph". I think this piece needs to feel like the narrator is hurling these words at herself so that she can have some sort of false sense of comfort. The base is there, you just have to build on it.
-Dee, from the Review Marathon.
Check it out sometime. Link's in my profile!

Hm, on one hand I like the idea around this piece. The narrator's need to convince herself that she is not falling in love with the same person all over again and all that. I can see it clearly through your words so that's good. But at the same time I felt like the emotion was lacking. I dunno what it is but I think this piece could've used a bit more "oomph". I think this piece needs to feel like the narrator is hurling these words at herself so that she can have some sort of false sense of comfort. The base is there, you just have to build on it.
-Dee, from the Review Marathon.
Check it out sometime. Link's in my profile!