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for Succubus

8/2/2012 c1 120Thesunflowerinyourhairrr
wow! love the personification of darkness in the first stanza. LOVE this whole idea. great detail.
2/2/2010 c1 8sealednectar
This was really good. Wonderfully detailed. Lots of great images.

'but toes tread softer over the warm tarmac'-I don't know why, but I didn't like the use of 'softer', probably because I don't hear that too often. I stopped when I read it. I would prefer softly, but that's only me.

'and the shadows eclipse elusive truths'-brilliant.

May I ask how you think of all these great ideas/metaphors/similes, etc? Tell me your secrets.

'fingerprintless'-Again, I didn't like this word. To me, it sounds clunky and is a mouthful. I think I'm being a bit critical, however.

Feel free to ignore me.

Overall, a poem well done!
12/1/2009 c1 6letyoursoultakeflight
and the shadows eclipse elusive truths

- adore that line.

Heck, I love it all! I definitely must go and read more of your poems now... Love this peice. Ever read the duolgy Anne Bishop wrote? It has succubus and incubus (or sucubi and incubi?)
10/27/2009 c1 60FelleLLoyd
This sounds creepy. & scientific. Haha, I love wiki. I like this poem.
10/27/2009 c1 26Mirabella
So vivid and entrancing! Brilliant imagery. :)
10/25/2009 c1 21servatis-a-pereculum
LOVE IT. I love the way you write, you have such a way with words!
9/30/2009 c1 31Wynter Storm
Amazing and the words you used were well thought out and worked very well togther

this is myy favorite line

an orchestra silently crescendoing into private heaven

Wow great imagery

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