for Flawed Deflection3/29/2013 c13 Guest
Ohmigod.I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE'S STILL WITH THAT PRICK!SHE SHOULD'VE STARTED FLIRTING WITH CALVIN AT SCHOOL TO GET BACK AT HIM.
Ohmigod.I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE'S STILL WITH THAT PRICK!SHE SHOULD'VE STARTED FLIRTING WITH CALVIN AT SCHOOL TO GET BACK AT HIM.
3/29/2013 c8 Guest
I like that this chapter is extremely long
I like that this chapter is extremely long
2/3/2011 c9 Lady Loveless
Omg I love this story. Both of you are great and picked some awesome songs ( I love jesse mccartney and paramore is...ugh amazing)
Omg I love this story. Both of you are great and picked some awesome songs ( I love jesse mccartney and paramore is...ugh amazing)
8/3/2010 c19 Da-zGreen
I also love this story! I love all your stories. You are really great! Thanks for the fun!
I also love this story! I love all your stories. You are really great! Thanks for the fun!
7/16/2010 c16 LateNightTurtle
not trying to sound mean, but november 31st is halloween? i could've sworn it was october 31st. . .
not trying to sound mean, but november 31st is halloween? i could've sworn it was october 31st. . .
3/21/2010 c2 PerfectlyFlawedSabotage
I LOVE the story line but the way it's written needs a BIT of improvement. I LOVE the story though...if you want help with editing or something my penname is CarBeck4Ever
I LOVE the story line but the way it's written needs a BIT of improvement. I LOVE the story though...if you want help with editing or something my penname is CarBeck4Ever
1/25/2010 c19 Sarah
Umm her mum is supposed to be a doctor?
Umm her mum is supposed to be a doctor?
1/5/2010 c19 Heather
Great story. I thought it was written well and it held my attention. I stated it at work yesterday and didn't get much done because I was hooked. Keep writing! :)
Great story. I thought it was written well and it held my attention. I stated it at work yesterday and didn't get much done because I was hooked. Keep writing! :)
1/4/2010 c5 Charmed Ravenclaw
I can't believe you had Carter sing a Jesse McCartney song. Sorry, I suppose it's just a personal preference to music but I just cracked up at that. And wow, the jacket, such a cliche, but entertaining.
I can't believe you had Carter sing a Jesse McCartney song. Sorry, I suppose it's just a personal preference to music but I just cracked up at that. And wow, the jacket, such a cliche, but entertaining.
1/4/2010 c3 Charmed Ravenclaw
Okay, here's just some constructive criticism you may or may not find helpful. I don't think you should feel the need to describe what the character is wearing each and every day: "I was wearing black skinny jeans, black and white low top converse and a fitted green v-neck shirt that says ‘Yes I do but not with you!’ written in black letters, I have on a black fitted hoodie. I have a full bang in the front so I decided that I would wear my hair in a messy ponytail."
I think I got the picture of what she liked to wear first time round.
Okay, here's just some constructive criticism you may or may not find helpful. I don't think you should feel the need to describe what the character is wearing each and every day: "I was wearing black skinny jeans, black and white low top converse and a fitted green v-neck shirt that says ‘Yes I do but not with you!’ written in black letters, I have on a black fitted hoodie. I have a full bang in the front so I decided that I would wear my hair in a messy ponytail."
I think I got the picture of what she liked to wear first time round.
1/4/2010 c2 Charmed Ravenclaw
I really like the song, Flawed Existence. It's different from all the sappy love songs out there. Anyway, I like the chemistry between Maly and Carter, it reminds me of a James Potter and Lily Evans fic.
I really like the song, Flawed Existence. It's different from all the sappy love songs out there. Anyway, I like the chemistry between Maly and Carter, it reminds me of a James Potter and Lily Evans fic.
1/4/2010 c1 Charmed Ravenclaw
Your summary was a good catch but the first paragraph displays that fatal flaw, telling not showing. If the information is relevant, it generally presents itself to the reader throughout the story anyway. Also, I think you're being a bit obvious with this part when the reader can see it themselves: "Janele.” He dragged the e."
Your summary was a good catch but the first paragraph displays that fatal flaw, telling not showing. If the information is relevant, it generally presents itself to the reader throughout the story anyway. Also, I think you're being a bit obvious with this part when the reader can see it themselves: "Janele.” He dragged the e."
1/4/2010 c19 
6little-kayleigh
totally will look out for new stories, 'cause loved this one!
thanks for writing. *~*kay
6little-kayleightotally will look out for new stories, 'cause loved this one!
thanks for writing. *~*kay