10/6/2009 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
For some random reason I’m reminded of Faulkner, every time someone mentions stream of conscious I always think of him. You definitely have that vibe in this, the narration is heavy - which can be hard to do - it can weigh the reader down at times, but for this piece, I really enjoyed it, and I think you used it well. Justin seemed young and sporadic with his youthfulness, and you wrote him that way, which ties it in together very well. I actually think that you could easily continue with it if you wanted to.

Etna is an interesting carnation, I feel that she was a bit cliched (red hair, melt down at the end) but that might be just me, and I’m not saying that she wasn’t interesting, because I think she was. I just feel that you were maybe walking that line between original, and fundamental. But, again, that could just be me.

All in all a really enjoyable piece. Keep up the good work, and good luck with WCC.

Much love,

Juliet.