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for Tme

10/17/2009 c1 25give me november
chilling [in a good way] nicely written!

yours, always


care to read and review some of my own stuff? i'd love the support!
10/16/2009 c1 2dragonflydreamer
I love the pulse in this! It's so short and distinct, which is really reminiscent of the tick you're describing. There were a few lines, though:

[every sound adds up to nothing in this life]

The line breaks made it hard to figure out the meaning. Maybe some punctuation would help.

One more thing is that I don't really like the ellipses (...) at the end. You talk about it stopping, so I wish you left it with a solid ending.

But otherwise, I really liked this piece! The presentation was kind of cute, but it was a serious topic that really makes you think.

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

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