for Parallel!1/3/2010 c2 
1Tomoyuki Tanaka
Ha ha! That was fun. But...you have a sister? You have a sister? No worries, I'm not Aurion. I'm not gonna hit on her. :P But still, I didn't see you mention her before, or I forgot about it (I read your blog sometimes).
Now, on to your story. It was really fun. If I were Aurion, I would have zipped the hell out of there when my own teammates were threatening me, but that's just me. Then they can't heal themselves and will be begging me to come back to them. :D Sadistic, but fun. It was a nice mix, seeing how the points of view flitter back and forth between the real life guy and Issildar. And I know you love romance, the question is, how are you going to put that in here?
Are the real life guys going to meet in real life as well?
Your story really works very well. It's like the Matrix, it kind of disorientates what is real and what isn't. Cool! Well, I can't wait for your next update! I was actually looking forward to this, but Parallel! was so far down my Review History list I didn't know you updated it until I scrolled all the way down. Heh. Must check more frequently next time. Till then!
1Tomoyuki TanakaHa ha! That was fun. But...you have a sister? You have a sister? No worries, I'm not Aurion. I'm not gonna hit on her. :P But still, I didn't see you mention her before, or I forgot about it (I read your blog sometimes).
Now, on to your story. It was really fun. If I were Aurion, I would have zipped the hell out of there when my own teammates were threatening me, but that's just me. Then they can't heal themselves and will be begging me to come back to them. :D Sadistic, but fun. It was a nice mix, seeing how the points of view flitter back and forth between the real life guy and Issildar. And I know you love romance, the question is, how are you going to put that in here?
Are the real life guys going to meet in real life as well?
Your story really works very well. It's like the Matrix, it kind of disorientates what is real and what isn't. Cool! Well, I can't wait for your next update! I was actually looking forward to this, but Parallel! was so far down my Review History list I didn't know you updated it until I scrolled all the way down. Heh. Must check more frequently next time. Till then!
12/23/2009 c2 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Yay! I'm early this time round. :) Okay, again this is another chapter full of MMORPG play with tons of nerdspeak. I did went lol at the second section of the nerdspeak tbh. It really smacks of the statement lol nub. XD Also good rendition of turn based combat here. And I'm not sure if I've said it, but this story is really a good work of melding nerdery with real fantasy and I really like it even though this work was done just for the sake of shit and giggles. And on an interesting side note, I understood some of the explanations in your A/N. :) And yeah, just when are you gonna make fun of idiots who like to gank other gamers. Not the type who gank other gankers for revenge though. Ganking people just for the sake of it is childish. Revenge ganking is not. :)
P.S: In case you haven't reviewed yet, a new chapter of The Eternal Grail has just been up as a Christmas present for all the potential fans. Hope to see your review for it soon if you haven't do so. :)
13Tsumujikaze no SoujutsuYay! I'm early this time round. :) Okay, again this is another chapter full of MMORPG play with tons of nerdspeak. I did went lol at the second section of the nerdspeak tbh. It really smacks of the statement lol nub. XD Also good rendition of turn based combat here. And I'm not sure if I've said it, but this story is really a good work of melding nerdery with real fantasy and I really like it even though this work was done just for the sake of shit and giggles. And on an interesting side note, I understood some of the explanations in your A/N. :) And yeah, just when are you gonna make fun of idiots who like to gank other gamers. Not the type who gank other gankers for revenge though. Ganking people just for the sake of it is childish. Revenge ganking is not. :)
P.S: In case you haven't reviewed yet, a new chapter of The Eternal Grail has just been up as a Christmas present for all the potential fans. Hope to see your review for it soon if you haven't do so. :)
11/21/2009 c1 Anon
... thinks this a very interesting way to write a fic, and lol'd because she enjoys playing mmorpgs as well, even though she hasn't the money to play WoW or anything that involves subscriptions.
... thinks this a very interesting way to write a fic, and lol'd because she enjoys playing mmorpgs as well, even though she hasn't the money to play WoW or anything that involves subscriptions.
11/1/2009 c1 2Alathea
Wow, your writing style is heavily detailed. I love it how you've set this story around an online game, and the players pm each other. The best bit was when I found out that their genders were actually the opposite to their characters' genders! Ha, Aurion's personality is great so far; a priest who only wanted the gig so that he could perve on beautiful females without being conspiscious - now that is style!
Just a suggestion: the descrition and dialogue is all there, but perhaps vary the length of different sentences so that the story flows more? Maybe just cut some of them in half? Also could even cut the chapter in half, say for instance where the people in real life start messaging one another?
Oh well, these are just my opinions, so feel free to ignore this. I'm still loving the story anyway.
I'll be interested to see where you take this story. Definitely subscribing to this one.
2AlatheaWow, your writing style is heavily detailed. I love it how you've set this story around an online game, and the players pm each other. The best bit was when I found out that their genders were actually the opposite to their characters' genders! Ha, Aurion's personality is great so far; a priest who only wanted the gig so that he could perve on beautiful females without being conspiscious - now that is style!
Just a suggestion: the descrition and dialogue is all there, but perhaps vary the length of different sentences so that the story flows more? Maybe just cut some of them in half? Also could even cut the chapter in half, say for instance where the people in real life start messaging one another?
Oh well, these are just my opinions, so feel free to ignore this. I'm still loving the story anyway.
I'll be interested to see where you take this story. Definitely subscribing to this one.
10/23/2009 c1 1Tomoyuki Tanaka
Nice, I like this story. It looks really interesting and you've written it extremely well, being able to blend real life and fantasy together. Awesome! Two thumbs up!
I look forward to the next chapter as well!
1Tomoyuki TanakaNice, I like this story. It looks really interesting and you've written it extremely well, being able to blend real life and fantasy together. Awesome! Two thumbs up!
I look forward to the next chapter as well!
10/18/2009 c1 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Shit. I've typed a good review and it died. :( Anyway, it will be interesting to see how I will be featured in the story. And to set the record straight, I never kill you off in the omake chapter of The Eternal Grail. It's just only a lol state of coma. That's it. :D
Anyway, on seeing big Drow boobs, I'm actually reminded of Lineage II. Play the game as a female drow and you'll know what I mean. ;) As for Aurion, well I believe you can actually exaggerate his character since I think he's got an immense potential to be a lol character. As for making fun at noobs, I'll be interested to see what you can do about it. :)
One suggestion I can actually make here is to crack random jokes on people who gank at a frequent basis. Quite obviously you will score major bonus points from readers if you do so. Gankers are retarded unless the ganking is done as a revenge. Period.
Anyway, I don't I can actually review this work seriously. In fact I think you don't intend it to be a serious work anyway. :) And yeah, I'm planning to have a new chapter of The Eternal Grail up soon. Look out for it. :)
P.S: If you've received an anonymous review without a name, that's me. Actually I can't remember if my log in status actually expire beforehand. :S
13Tsumujikaze no SoujutsuShit. I've typed a good review and it died. :( Anyway, it will be interesting to see how I will be featured in the story. And to set the record straight, I never kill you off in the omake chapter of The Eternal Grail. It's just only a lol state of coma. That's it. :D
Anyway, on seeing big Drow boobs, I'm actually reminded of Lineage II. Play the game as a female drow and you'll know what I mean. ;) As for Aurion, well I believe you can actually exaggerate his character since I think he's got an immense potential to be a lol character. As for making fun at noobs, I'll be interested to see what you can do about it. :)
One suggestion I can actually make here is to crack random jokes on people who gank at a frequent basis. Quite obviously you will score major bonus points from readers if you do so. Gankers are retarded unless the ganking is done as a revenge. Period.
Anyway, I don't I can actually review this work seriously. In fact I think you don't intend it to be a serious work anyway. :) And yeah, I'm planning to have a new chapter of The Eternal Grail up soon. Look out for it. :)
P.S: If you've received an anonymous review without a name, that's me. Actually I can't remember if my log in status actually expire beforehand. :S
10/18/2009 c1 Guest
Wow, me being included in the future plot without being an epic fail? Now that's interesting. And in case you're still wondering on the omake chapter for The Eternal Grail, I never kill you off to set the record straight. It's just a prolonged lol coma state to exact. :D But I can actually see the nerd aspect here already, which is a kudos for you here.
And on Drow females having big boobs, I guess it's what I'll call the Lineage syndrome. If you've played a Drow female for Lineage II, you will get what I mean. In fact, I dare say that amongst all the fantasy media I've came across, Lineage II is the whammy in terms of big Drow boobs. :D
As for the characters, well I'm starting to see potential humour aspects. But I do think you can try to exaggerate Aurion's character further since I do see a good potential for him to be a gag character. And I'm looking forward to see how you will play out the noob humour here.
Another noteworthy suggestion I can make here is to make over the top fun out of people who like to gank. Quite obviously they are the ultimate dickheads in WoW and you will score tons of bonus points from the readers if you can make them out to be epic fails. And of course revenge ganking should not be reviled by all standards. If you don't gank, you can be sure people won't play the revenge game. :3 Unfortunately, there are childish people who ganked other gamers just for the kicks. :S
Wow, I'm really talking tons of crap here, but then again, I guess you don't actually intend this story to be reviewed seriously anyway. :) And yay to me for being the first reviewer. XD
Wow, me being included in the future plot without being an epic fail? Now that's interesting. And in case you're still wondering on the omake chapter for The Eternal Grail, I never kill you off to set the record straight. It's just a prolonged lol coma state to exact. :D But I can actually see the nerd aspect here already, which is a kudos for you here.
And on Drow females having big boobs, I guess it's what I'll call the Lineage syndrome. If you've played a Drow female for Lineage II, you will get what I mean. In fact, I dare say that amongst all the fantasy media I've came across, Lineage II is the whammy in terms of big Drow boobs. :D
As for the characters, well I'm starting to see potential humour aspects. But I do think you can try to exaggerate Aurion's character further since I do see a good potential for him to be a gag character. And I'm looking forward to see how you will play out the noob humour here.
Another noteworthy suggestion I can make here is to make over the top fun out of people who like to gank. Quite obviously they are the ultimate dickheads in WoW and you will score tons of bonus points from the readers if you can make them out to be epic fails. And of course revenge ganking should not be reviled by all standards. If you don't gank, you can be sure people won't play the revenge game. :3 Unfortunately, there are childish people who ganked other gamers just for the kicks. :S
Wow, I'm really talking tons of crap here, but then again, I guess you don't actually intend this story to be reviewed seriously anyway. :) And yay to me for being the first reviewer. XD