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for Fake A Smile

5/22/2011 c1 18Eve's Apples
Hey, River here. This is very awesome. It reminds me of my story Smile. Except this is way better, so beautifully written. So I'd appreciate if you could read what I have and give me some pointers, please. Also, I love how it's like a letter in her head, adressed to YOU and not to someone with a name. The fact that she doesn't even mention his name shows just how far she's drifted away from him, that he's no longer important enough to her to bother thinking his name. This is amazing. Glad you wrote it~

~River Shadowtress
7/18/2010 c1 ghurl00
The guy's an asshole! He should be burned!
6/13/2010 c1 7Silencia
I feel the need to kick the butt of the man... several times... and then crush his nuts... yeah, I'm in a violent mood today X3 you've made a precious jewel of a one-shot, she's wonderful ^^ Good Job

Grtz Silencia
4/24/2010 c1 AdiGal

That definitely made me stop and think for a minute. The narrator is so genuine.

That was great.

12/31/2009 c1 10CassandraStacy
This is a really great vignette. Love it! I can really feel her despair at her relationship, yet the inability to make a change. To take the step of freedom . . . even if it does mean chaos. (I personally like a little chaos in my life!) Thanks for sharing.

12/27/2009 c1 Icyfire4w5
I feel really, really hurt when I discover that love isn't always perfect, and yes, males aren't always faithful and trustworthy. I know that the narrator has been lying to herself that she still loves the guy, but then, I'm guilty of that too.
10/28/2009 c1 33ecmnesiac angel
Well done for a first one shot.ü Hoping there will be more to come. I enjoyed reading it.ü
10/18/2009 c1 2Kissed by the Moon
I think every girl feels this way at some point in a relationship. I'm not saying that every guy cheats, but there is always this feeling of indifference.

I love your short story, I think it has taught me something. :]

-Kissed by the Moon
10/18/2009 c1 23Jem the writer
This was very beautifully written! I personally find it really hard to write great pieces with no direct dialogue, but you have pulled it off wonderfully!

I loved the almost fragile way you wrote this, it had so much emotion =) Great work, keep it up!

10/18/2009 c1 Quint
Aye, mate.

As the previous reviewer said, I am rather glad that this isn't one of those fluffy romance stories. You managed to get your main character's voice across clearly. I loved the personality showing through, very dry, bitter and sad. You don't beat around the bush with any of her feelings. She is very "in your face"... which I find rather intriguing.

I wasn't looking for errors or any of that sort. I did find it a bit odd that you didn't use quotation marks but rather ‘ ’

Might be the standard writing format for wherever you're from.

But, that was about it on that note. Bleeding brilliant ending. Seems to be true with some couples I've known, them staying together because it's part of a routine... or to not "damage" the children. I apologise for blathering on. Nice work.


10/18/2009 c1 larathiel
Well written. And somewhat of a relief from all the fluffy romance stories that keep popping up everywhere. I love how you made her indifference to him come across so clearly. Keep it up!

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