for Devil's Night1/5/2011 c1 
5kewltashigirl
Creepy, lovely, gorey. Puts me in mind of The Nightmare Before Christmas. Keep writing, or the monstr will get you!
;D
5kewltashigirlCreepy, lovely, gorey. Puts me in mind of The Nightmare Before Christmas. Keep writing, or the monstr will get you!
;D
12/8/2009 c1 Icyfire4w5
1) Woah, I'm scared of cemetries, okay? I'll stay away from cemetries unless I've no other place to go. Hence, I think that your characters are brave and um, reckless?
2) I don't know that "pixy" is another word for "pixie" until I've checked the dictionary. Haha, English is such an intriguing language.
3) Your story contains enough gore to creep me out, well done!
1) Woah, I'm scared of cemetries, okay? I'll stay away from cemetries unless I've no other place to go. Hence, I think that your characters are brave and um, reckless?
2) I don't know that "pixy" is another word for "pixie" until I've checked the dictionary. Haha, English is such an intriguing language.
3) Your story contains enough gore to creep me out, well done!
12/2/2009 c1 Myr
Excellent description of the severed heads. Grossed me out to the max.
Excellent description of the severed heads. Grossed me out to the max.
11/5/2009 c1 30sophiesix
Gruesome! I'll never look at pumpkins the same way again ;) really nice sense of dread and horror here. I did get a bit confused between Henry and tony at teh begining, but it didn't really matter. Thanks!
30sophiesixGruesome! I'll never look at pumpkins the same way again ;) really nice sense of dread and horror here. I did get a bit confused between Henry and tony at teh begining, but it didn't really matter. Thanks!
11/3/2009 c1 13Lani Lenore
A nice little story, and congrats on winning the October contest at La Campanella. =) I was thinking of writing a piece myself, but didn't notice the contest until about Oct 23...figured it was too late. hehe Anyway, on to an appropriate review.
I really loved the detail you used in the story. I could picture the graveyard easily, and the way you gathered your scene over the crypt with the teenagers was vivid. Also, I was impressed with the detail you used to present the smoking. Maybe it seems a silly thing to comment on, but you constantly referred back to what was actually going on in the scene when dialogue was presented, and I love to take my dialogue with a side of detail. I think my favorite part of it all was the little piece where Henry was thinking about Angela as he was waiting to die. That made me care about the character, and gave him a nice human quality.
If there was anything that struck me that could be improved, I would say that the characters were a bit jumbled. I would like to have seen more life from them, especially the two side characters who didn’t do much. Also, I got a bit confused as to which boy you were referring to in the beginning. Making Tony say something and then continuing on to talk about what Henry thought in the same paragraph was a little confusing to me.
At any rate, I thought it was very creative how you referred the story back to the prompt. Somehow or another, I couldn’t get past the fact that the picture was of pumpkins, but you just a nice spin on it.
13Lani LenoreA nice little story, and congrats on winning the October contest at La Campanella. =) I was thinking of writing a piece myself, but didn't notice the contest until about Oct 23...figured it was too late. hehe Anyway, on to an appropriate review.
I really loved the detail you used in the story. I could picture the graveyard easily, and the way you gathered your scene over the crypt with the teenagers was vivid. Also, I was impressed with the detail you used to present the smoking. Maybe it seems a silly thing to comment on, but you constantly referred back to what was actually going on in the scene when dialogue was presented, and I love to take my dialogue with a side of detail. I think my favorite part of it all was the little piece where Henry was thinking about Angela as he was waiting to die. That made me care about the character, and gave him a nice human quality.
If there was anything that struck me that could be improved, I would say that the characters were a bit jumbled. I would like to have seen more life from them, especially the two side characters who didn’t do much. Also, I got a bit confused as to which boy you were referring to in the beginning. Making Tony say something and then continuing on to talk about what Henry thought in the same paragraph was a little confusing to me.
At any rate, I thought it was very creative how you referred the story back to the prompt. Somehow or another, I couldn’t get past the fact that the picture was of pumpkins, but you just a nice spin on it.