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for Kiss of Twilight: Betrayed by the Dawn

12/30/2009 c1 azerjaban
"Can you do something about the spoilers? I’ll try to keep things downplayed and only answer questions that aren’t quite pertinent to the actual storyline."

Please do, I was about to comment myself, I was lulled into a false sense of security when you simply answered questions about Eve's fear of horses and cookies. Next thing I know I read that Eve will die!

I had read no indication of this in any of the chapters and I did not like finding out 15 chapters ahead- because then I began to withdraw my interest in Eve and already began to dismiss her as a character. You also took her more into the background as her end drew near-when usually their last moments is when they shine the most.

Can't wait for an update- to be honest I liked the hag Melina better than the one now- and Vincent is annoying me now with his constant denial to the point where I wish he had been thrown over the cliff(not really but it was nice to entertain the thought).

I am astonished at the difference between how you wrote Dru's story compared to Helena's. And I admit like Helena's more- I would think Dru would rate higher on the Mary Sue scale.

There's just so much more chemistry in KoT! When I finished reading OSTSG- I was upset to find out you skimmed their reunion and wedding so quickly- with 3 chaste kisses in the whole story to boot. Only in KoT did you write passion between them when Alex kissed her in front of Cindy. I figured you were simply the type of author who did/or could not write those type of scenes. (If I ever wrote a love scene I would probably not be able to look my mother in the eye for a week)

Yet Vincent and Helena have so much chemistry its almost tangible, your beta wasn't lying about that one chapter that seemed as though it could come out of an erotic novel- though you were only describing a kiss!

I think I've rambled enough. Eagerly await your next chapter. I'm going to try and find pics to send to you if the double update thing is still on.

Oh and early Happy New Year- resolve to finish this series and work to get it published! Yes OSTSG is scarily long (10hours!) but thats perfect novel length! Have strength!

Azer
12/23/2009 c1 Liri
Love your stories! Please updates quickly!
12/3/2009 c1 Susan
Please update this story soon! I can't wait to find out what happens next!
11/22/2009 c1 5eaststar
I love the riddle, it really adds to the story. It was a bit confusing why the girl was scared of the fairy. Maybe you can add some details that would make the fairy a little more menacing... I can't wait until the next chapter!
11/11/2009 c1 Frozen.by.Sloth
I'm excited to begin and awfully happy you're with us again :)
11/8/2009 c1 FeatherfooD
I just blitzed through the first two books of this series and I can't wait for this one! What was up with all the cookie questions?
11/6/2009 c1 4Eleanor J. Cinders
Excellent. I especially loved the hand over the moon. It was both ominous and beautiful. Interesting beginning, a character that essentially has finished her story never really had the beginning of it told. I anxiously wait for the rest :)
11/5/2009 c1 1mistariapotter
nice story!
11/1/2009 c1 thingimabob
^^ i loved that chpt =P...

is melina actually cindy's godmother?

also what was felicity's relationship with melina?

wait the fairy is melina right?
10/31/2009 c1 1KarmaC
I'm super excited for this story! Update soon!
10/29/2009 c1 xInkMusique
1st Chapter :D can't wait for the next one. I was a little confused at first, because I thought Cindy had given up, but i guess not
10/28/2009 c1 1Red Warden
Hehe nice metaphor with the moon. So the last part begins. I’m so excited to read what happens. I’m right in thinking that Cinderella’s “fairy” godmother was in fact Melina. If that’s so then I wonder how Felicity knew her. Can’t wait for the next update.
10/28/2009 c1 4The Gentleman's Pirate
wohoo!
10/28/2009 c1 9AestheticBreezyDoll
Yay! That's good news about Eve. =) I wonder how Vinny will help Helena cope. :D

Good luck to you in your school and I hope you update soon! :)
10/27/2009 c1 1SourTofu
Can I just say that i was starting to go through withdrawal because I couldn't find any stories that i like nearly as much as this one? Lol, i understand about midterms, though. I took this semester off but I'm a med major and let me tell you that the week before midterms my friends start avoiding me . . .

Now about this chapter, I think it's great that you slipped in a flashback with cindy going to see the witch. Honestly, I don't think you need to go anywhere with it either. a lot of authors try to fill in every single blank in a story but the fact that you left off before she saw the witch gives it this element of mystery. that's usually the difference between a good story and a great story-at least in my opinion. Besides we already know what happened ;).

Oh wow, I'm starting to ramble now but I'm just really excited for some reason and when i saw that your story was up i just turned giddy, lol. one of these days I'll put my own story up (It's a fantasy like yours) but i have to do some serious work on it before that happens.

Okay, I'm done for really this time!

Great chapter!

JDL
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