12/30/2009 c4 5CuriousContradiction
Interesting. You know, I actually like the shortness of the chapters (again with the simplicity) while still slowly but steadily inching the plot forward. Don't keep us hanging! I look forward to reading more and seeing Henry-Diane interaction. :)

12/29/2009 c3 CuriousContradiction
Love this.

And I mean it. I don't use the word "love" lightly.

There's something that's just... hmm. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I like it a lot. I guess it's the simplicity. For example, your opening line: "Diane is a girl." The saying "Less is more" definitely applies here. And I really like the way you use second person at parts, and how you don't use many contractions or long, complex sentences. It gives this story a unique tone. :)

I also like how you show things rather than tell (although you do tell at a lot of points too, but in rather nicely phrased ways). For example, the line "But she does not wear mini skirts" is so simple and so short but shows so much about her personality.

Awesome work. :)

Your friend,

Curious