12/9/2009 c1 178skyward squidly squee
Okay. I really liked the third stanza and "So bent on bending / Too bent dreams."

I also noticed in the second to last stanza where it says "ripped seams" just a little before the word 'stream', like in my poem where I said "seams [...] to rip" a little before using the word 'stream'. I don't know; I just noticed it.

Hm. With your style here. I don't know, it looks a little off at first, and then the flow's different and interesting. And there are some things that don't make complete sense to me. Heh. Like, I find it interesting that your talking about something stealing your soul in one stanza, then talking about a bottle in the next.

The last stanza. I know what you're saying, and I like how you put it. Although, what you called a "fluid motion" is what I think I imagine as one straight line. I mean, unless you're talking about something else and I'm mistaken. ...

- giant squid.