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for Alone I Stand

3/9/2014 c1 4sami1995
I like the way I came back after reading it yesterday; it's been stuck on my mind. You delineated the feelings of someone feeling isolated and on the outside very well. You rhyme very well and you chose a subject anybody can relate to. It's something everybody goes through, at any period of his/her life. It was an honest poem; you chose your words carefully and it had the right amount of disillusionment. I'd definitely want to read more of your poems; update them :)
I can completely understand the longing you portrayed in your poem. Your line "Yearning for that sense of belonging" was really a highlight. Great job.
1/23/2014 c1 smiling smiley
I've felt this way before. It's hard to go to a new place- but I learned you have to talk to people for them to talk to you, don't expect them to make the first move.
I liked this, very relatable
1/20/2014 c1 4Veronica Fay
Hi! I think you do a good job of expressing something that everyone can relate to!
8/31/2010 c1 natmarie
Stumbled on this one. Wonderful use of verbs. I think that that it expresses an emotion that everyone has felt at some point. Great job...each line kind of flows into the next.

PS. I'm a minor bio stalker...I have chick lit up if you are looking for some new stuff to read (totally no pressure from my lame attempt at a self plug).
7/12/2010 c1 sandcastlesinthesand
AH! I LOVE THIS!

I hate feeling alone. I'm different than a lot of people in high school. (I don't drink, do drugs, smoke. I'm waiting for marriage to have sex... YADA YADA YADA) So, it would be easy to let myself feel like this. But, as someone that I'm not very close with once put it, "I'm good with connecting with people."

Probably because I watch every television show known to man... and some known only to dolphins. (NED'S DECLASSIFIED QUOTE!)

WOO!

But yeah, I get so self conscious sometimes and I feel like people are thinking bad things about me.



Like... "Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it NOT that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be."

WOO!

I feel cool for being able to quote The Office in a review.

POINT IS, this was really great. A lot of people can relate.

OH MY FREAKING JESUS THAT RHYMED!
5/16/2010 c1 5LilyWolfe
I really liked this poem, simple and something i think everybody can relate to. No grammer mistakes which is applaudable! The only improvement I can suggest is perhaps creating more imagery. there is not rule to say that poems have to or that they can't be simple but it would be interesting to see nonetheless. You could also consider expanding it, telling us some more about emotions? The reactions of the people that did not help? why they didn't? just things like that...hope it helped!

:D
12/24/2009 c1 9Sakina the Fallen Angel
Short and sweet, it gets right to the point. I liked this alot for its simplicity and for the emotions portrayed.

~ Sakina x
12/23/2009 c1 4HighOnBrokenWings
WEll. I'm not an amazing poetry writer either, but I think (from my judgement) that it was really good :D

Though, you might want to include a few more language features. The best way to make a piece of poetry sound more dramatic and unique is to include similies and metaphors, also it can be a good idea to have a theme that runs through the poem alongside the obvious one. Using imagery filled writing adds this level of attraction, and makes the reader believe that it is what they are really feeling. Another thing that I would do, would be to leave out the punctuation at the end of each line. To me, (maybe it's just me) it doesnt flow as well as it could, because the human brain automatically pauses for a certain amount of time when it sees a comma or a fullstop.

Heh.

I hope this helped. I mean, that was an amazing poem! And I just thought that a few little pointers could help to make your writing even better :)
12/21/2009 c1 5CuriousContradiction
Hmm. I liked the simplicity of this. I actually didn't find this entirely depressing. There was almost a hint of optimism. Not sure exactly where or how or why, but I thought there was a bit of hope that someday someone would notice the narrator and see they for who she is. It all depends on the style that you're aiming for and personal preference, so I think it would be cool if you had more metaphors and words that aren't commonly used, but if you like stating things just straight out, then that's fine too. It's good. :)

(And if you're writing this from personal experience even though it was for an assignment, I'll just tell you now that you're not alone in feeling like that.)
11/26/2009 c1 4DarkxImagination
I like it alot. It short sweet and too the point in a depressing kinda way. Lol. Good work =]]

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