for Shattered Dreams7/30/2012 c37 The-Alpis
this was an excellently written piece. It seems so heartfelt and had me hooked throughout. I'm glad you gave her a happy ending. She deserved it.
this was an excellently written piece. It seems so heartfelt and had me hooked throughout. I'm glad you gave her a happy ending. She deserved it.
6/2/2012 c37 WordsFlowNaturally
I really liked this story and the quotes at the start of each chapter :)
I really liked this story and the quotes at the start of each chapter :)
6/1/2012 c37 
5Crazytay
Oh my gosh this is THE most inspiring story I have EVER read. It actually got me thinking about doing something like Ella's Hope one day :) I love the quotes at the top. Especially the one for my favorite movie Ever After. This is now my favorite story and is actually a realistic love story.
As for the grammar, I saw few mistakes and the writing itself was amazing. Please continue to write.
5CrazytayOh my gosh this is THE most inspiring story I have EVER read. It actually got me thinking about doing something like Ella's Hope one day :) I love the quotes at the top. Especially the one for my favorite movie Ever After. This is now my favorite story and is actually a realistic love story.
As for the grammar, I saw few mistakes and the writing itself was amazing. Please continue to write.
5/27/2012 c37 Bolanle
I loved your story . You managed to take Cinderella and re-write it beautifully without making it cliche. I loved that Eloise was such a strong character, I honestly think this is one of the best stories that I have ever read!
I loved your story . You managed to take Cinderella and re-write it beautifully without making it cliche. I loved that Eloise was such a strong character, I honestly think this is one of the best stories that I have ever read!
4/20/2012 c37 The Quotidian Life
I loved it. The way you captured the hurt, pain, anguish, care and love was amazing. The fairytale ending was especially cute. Your incorporation of quotes at the beginning of each chapter to foreshadow what was to come in the update was rather original. You must have spent so much time researching for this story. Just some constructive criticism, some of your dialogue didn't sound that realistic or natural, especially with Jared's. But dialogue is hard to write if I do say so myself. All in all, it was a pleasure to read and a happy ending for the princess.
Cheers,
The Quotidian Life
I loved it. The way you captured the hurt, pain, anguish, care and love was amazing. The fairytale ending was especially cute. Your incorporation of quotes at the beginning of each chapter to foreshadow what was to come in the update was rather original. You must have spent so much time researching for this story. Just some constructive criticism, some of your dialogue didn't sound that realistic or natural, especially with Jared's. But dialogue is hard to write if I do say so myself. All in all, it was a pleasure to read and a happy ending for the princess.
Cheers,
The Quotidian Life
3/23/2012 c37 Sonia
Wow! I cried so much in this novel and though I felt as though Jared was a little too unconditionally perfect Eloise's brutal life all the perfect guy. I read this in one go I actually started at 3 in the morning but I finally finished bow at 8 please please me a story for Ben and bee I would love it
Wow! I cried so much in this novel and though I felt as though Jared was a little too unconditionally perfect Eloise's brutal life all the perfect guy. I read this in one go I actually started at 3 in the morning but I finally finished bow at 8 please please me a story for Ben and bee I would love it
3/18/2012 c37 1blackbirds fly
I really liked this story. I found it on ADoR and the summary made it stand out to me - a harshly realistic story infused with a fairy tale. Eloise's background was sort of sad in the fact these situations aren't rare AT ALL. It was nice to see how Jared helped Eloise, and it gave the story an uplifting tone. Girls (and boys) who may be in a situation like this that are reading this story might just find a spark of hope. Good job!
1blackbirds flyI really liked this story. I found it on ADoR and the summary made it stand out to me - a harshly realistic story infused with a fairy tale. Eloise's background was sort of sad in the fact these situations aren't rare AT ALL. It was nice to see how Jared helped Eloise, and it gave the story an uplifting tone. Girls (and boys) who may be in a situation like this that are reading this story might just find a spark of hope. Good job!
2/29/2012 c37 S
Great story :)
Great story :)
2/21/2012 c37 Freakleash
I love this! Yes, I did stay up until past twelve and I did disregard a project that I'd been meaning to work on, but I really love this!
I love how you didn't just give them a happy ending (cheesy, yes, but at least it wasn't overly typical!). You made them work for it, you gave the characters time to develop, and you made sure they developed relatively realistically. While I would normally disagree with the authors when they choose to break the characters up, it really fit in with the story. It actually helped with the plot and the characters and wasn't just added for the drama or the reactions it would incite.
I did complain some about the length, but I think everything was worth the space and words and time and effort you gave.
I really love (I know, I need to widen my vocabulary, but I'm too tired to think more about it right now) that this story makes the reader think. It really wasn't just the typical abuse story because you, as I said, developed the characters and showed the healing process - and it wasn't rushed! You gave the characters time to progress, and for once, it wasn't just the main character that needed to improve. The leading male did as well! He needed to learn to let her stand on her own and he needed to know that he should and could trust her. That isn't something you see very often in stories.
I do have one small problem though, and it's the title. This story gives you hope that there's always a chance to rise above adversities and make yourself a better person. I think this story needs a title that would show that more. Just please don't make it a cheesy title. Shattered Dreams sounds a bit too depressing for a story like this. It doesn't fit as well as a title should, I think. No offense or anything! Just something I thought you might want to think about.
Oh, and there were a few things that were overlooked in the proofreading. Pronouns switched, verbs wrong, words mixed, etc. Not too many, mind. Just a few.
I'm sorry if I sound too repetitive in this review or if things don't make sense, but I haven't the time to organize my thoughts properly. I just wanted to tell you what a great job this way. Amazing plot, ideas, characters, development! Great, great job, and thank you so much for this =)
I love this! Yes, I did stay up until past twelve and I did disregard a project that I'd been meaning to work on, but I really love this!
I love how you didn't just give them a happy ending (cheesy, yes, but at least it wasn't overly typical!). You made them work for it, you gave the characters time to develop, and you made sure they developed relatively realistically. While I would normally disagree with the authors when they choose to break the characters up, it really fit in with the story. It actually helped with the plot and the characters and wasn't just added for the drama or the reactions it would incite.
I did complain some about the length, but I think everything was worth the space and words and time and effort you gave.
I really love (I know, I need to widen my vocabulary, but I'm too tired to think more about it right now) that this story makes the reader think. It really wasn't just the typical abuse story because you, as I said, developed the characters and showed the healing process - and it wasn't rushed! You gave the characters time to progress, and for once, it wasn't just the main character that needed to improve. The leading male did as well! He needed to learn to let her stand on her own and he needed to know that he should and could trust her. That isn't something you see very often in stories.
I do have one small problem though, and it's the title. This story gives you hope that there's always a chance to rise above adversities and make yourself a better person. I think this story needs a title that would show that more. Just please don't make it a cheesy title. Shattered Dreams sounds a bit too depressing for a story like this. It doesn't fit as well as a title should, I think. No offense or anything! Just something I thought you might want to think about.
Oh, and there were a few things that were overlooked in the proofreading. Pronouns switched, verbs wrong, words mixed, etc. Not too many, mind. Just a few.
I'm sorry if I sound too repetitive in this review or if things don't make sense, but I haven't the time to organize my thoughts properly. I just wanted to tell you what a great job this way. Amazing plot, ideas, characters, development! Great, great job, and thank you so much for this =)
2/21/2012 c6 Freakleash
But she left her trunk! Which contained everything she treasured in it! I hope she gets it back somehow. I've always been sentimental about small things, but I'm sure her things mean a whole lot more to her than mine ever did to me.
I'd wondered why she hadn't attempted running away before. But from this chapter.. I guess it's hard to leave a life you've gotten used to? No matter how terrible the life was, I guess it would always take some courage to let go of it.
By the way, I don't know if I'm just overly emotional today, but for some reason, I teared up at the part where she told that lady the truth. I'm not sure why, so I'm just going to leave it at that.
Good on her for finally getting the courage she needed! =)
But she left her trunk! Which contained everything she treasured in it! I hope she gets it back somehow. I've always been sentimental about small things, but I'm sure her things mean a whole lot more to her than mine ever did to me.
I'd wondered why she hadn't attempted running away before. But from this chapter.. I guess it's hard to leave a life you've gotten used to? No matter how terrible the life was, I guess it would always take some courage to let go of it.
By the way, I don't know if I'm just overly emotional today, but for some reason, I teared up at the part where she told that lady the truth. I'm not sure why, so I'm just going to leave it at that.
Good on her for finally getting the courage she needed! =)
2/21/2012 c3 Freakleash
I really like this! People wonder why I like stories like this, but my favorite parts are at the end, when they are able to get past all the pain and suffering that they've had to endure, and they're able to come out stronger and better. Plus they get their happy endings! Yeah, cheesy, but at least it gets me to read your story!
I think this is the first time I've read a story with this kind of idea (ie abuse) that is actually written really well. So great job on that! I have to say, although I'm quite sorry about it, itt's rare that I review midway through a story when the story is already complete.
Also, I like how this is realistic (as far as I can tell and as much as you can get with this plot)! I like how everything is playing out and-but what am I saying? I'm only in chapter three! I'll continue this when I reach the end =)
My only problem with this is that it's so long! I'll have to stop at some points to go do schoolwork, and it'll take so long for me to find out what happens next! On the other hand, at least I get to read a lot more of this :D
I really like this! People wonder why I like stories like this, but my favorite parts are at the end, when they are able to get past all the pain and suffering that they've had to endure, and they're able to come out stronger and better. Plus they get their happy endings! Yeah, cheesy, but at least it gets me to read your story!
I think this is the first time I've read a story with this kind of idea (ie abuse) that is actually written really well. So great job on that! I have to say, although I'm quite sorry about it, itt's rare that I review midway through a story when the story is already complete.
Also, I like how this is realistic (as far as I can tell and as much as you can get with this plot)! I like how everything is playing out and-but what am I saying? I'm only in chapter three! I'll continue this when I reach the end =)
My only problem with this is that it's so long! I'll have to stop at some points to go do schoolwork, and it'll take so long for me to find out what happens next! On the other hand, at least I get to read a lot more of this :D
2/9/2012 c37 Arianna
This is really beautiful! heartbreakingly beautiful. i've learned from this fic that there is always hope. we just have to search for it and believe in ourselves. your story truly inspire me and i hope u continue to instill hope to those who need it. XDD
hmmm.. in the last bit of the story, i find it a bit unrealistic bout the mother's scene but they need their happy ending right? haha.. i'm so glad eloise has found her deserved happily ever after in jared.. i'll miss both of them.
This is by far one of the greatest story i've read in fp. u did a great job! cheers XDDD
This is really beautiful! heartbreakingly beautiful. i've learned from this fic that there is always hope. we just have to search for it and believe in ourselves. your story truly inspire me and i hope u continue to instill hope to those who need it. XDD
hmmm.. in the last bit of the story, i find it a bit unrealistic bout the mother's scene but they need their happy ending right? haha.. i'm so glad eloise has found her deserved happily ever after in jared.. i'll miss both of them.
This is by far one of the greatest story i've read in fp. u did a great job! cheers XDDD