for Nine Nine Valentine6/15/2010 c1 
12Rodney Landish Carter
This is a good poem for several reasons.
1. It's anti-commercial. I disapprove of commercialism, and materialism. I much liked the line "Advertise me, me". Because I feel that, as an American, that is what most of the populace feels.
2. It exploits it in a negative way. I love the negative portrayal of capitalism here. I am actually a fan of the system, but I love the negative points here.
3. It sounds like it could be grunge cong. Don't ask me why. I feel like I could sing it that way.
12Rodney Landish CarterThis is a good poem for several reasons.
1. It's anti-commercial. I disapprove of commercialism, and materialism. I much liked the line "Advertise me, me". Because I feel that, as an American, that is what most of the populace feels.
2. It exploits it in a negative way. I love the negative portrayal of capitalism here. I am actually a fan of the system, but I love the negative points here.
3. It sounds like it could be grunge cong. Don't ask me why. I feel like I could sing it that way.
12/5/2009 c1 45deefective
I actually liked this. I could feel a sort of indefinite tune in the background as I read. I think you did a wonderful job with the rhyming. None of it sounded cliché and it flowed very nicely. The only line I would change would be this one:
"‘cause we’d rather see fluorescent lights than one sunbeam"
It was way too long and it didn't fit in with the flow of the rest of the piece. Also, you should separate this better so we can tell the chorus from the rest of it and also the different verses. But other than that, nicely done.
45deefectiveI actually liked this. I could feel a sort of indefinite tune in the background as I read. I think you did a wonderful job with the rhyming. None of it sounded cliché and it flowed very nicely. The only line I would change would be this one:
"‘cause we’d rather see fluorescent lights than one sunbeam"
It was way too long and it didn't fit in with the flow of the rest of the piece. Also, you should separate this better so we can tell the chorus from the rest of it and also the different verses. But other than that, nicely done.