for What's Worth Fighting For1/3/2010 c1 
11HiddenFromYou
The beginning of this story makes me feel like I've come in in the middle of it. It's very sudden and really throws me off. Maybe build up a little more?
I really liked your description. The way you created scenes made the story really easy and nice to read.
I think you should break up your paragraphs somewhat, as you obviously don't want any speech yet. I was recently told that reading a chapter of one of my fics was difficult because there was no rest for the eyes, and I agree. Break the paragraphs down, or add some speech.
11HiddenFromYouThe beginning of this story makes me feel like I've come in in the middle of it. It's very sudden and really throws me off. Maybe build up a little more?
I really liked your description. The way you created scenes made the story really easy and nice to read.
I think you should break up your paragraphs somewhat, as you obviously don't want any speech yet. I was recently told that reading a chapter of one of my fics was difficult because there was no rest for the eyes, and I agree. Break the paragraphs down, or add some speech.