for I'm in Love With a Professional Heartbreaker11/20/2010 c40 
3Emmalia and Kaitlyn
Oh, um... I can't think straight... oh, yeah.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR NOW! Sean, Adam, and Eve better still be alive by the end of this story. Or else I'm not reading anymore of your anything. Its freakin depressing. I keep thinking of Aiden... now I'm gonna have nightmares.
anyways, UPDATE SOON!
3Emmalia and KaitlynOh, um... I can't think straight... oh, yeah.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR NOW! Sean, Adam, and Eve better still be alive by the end of this story. Or else I'm not reading anymore of your anything. Its freakin depressing. I keep thinking of Aiden... now I'm gonna have nightmares.
anyways, UPDATE SOON!
11/20/2010 c39 2deedeegirl
OHH MYY GIDDY GOSSH WHY OH WHY WILL U DO DAT! U MY DEAR PERSON ARE A SICK AND TWISTED PERSON...I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO SEAN! HE WAS MY FAVORITE...AND THEN MAKING ADAM JUMP, I MEAN ARE YOU CRAZY...
those two better be alive...or else
2deedeegirlOHH MYY GIDDY GOSSH WHY OH WHY WILL U DO DAT! U MY DEAR PERSON ARE A SICK AND TWISTED PERSON...I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO SEAN! HE WAS MY FAVORITE...AND THEN MAKING ADAM JUMP, I MEAN ARE YOU CRAZY...
those two better be alive...or else
11/20/2010 c40 6brit02
Jesus Lord, you like to turn the drama on HIGH. Shesh. Do you mine if I criticize a little though? First off, I think the characters are doing too much thinking. In high action scenes like this, it is usually better to do it in third person (I know your story is in first person, but scenes like this would have been better in third) as that way you can describe what is actually happening and because in high action characters tend to go more on adrenaline than thinking. Also, I think for these scenes it would have been more effective to have less characters. You are too all over the place trying to account for all the characters. Also, regarding the injured people:
-Cole. He should be passed out, and if not, then the others should have carried him off to the police and ambulances as soon as Steve turned his attention on Adam.
-Sean and Adam: any reasonable person would have grabbed his brother, hidden him/ seen the police and take him to them, THEN maybe confront his crazy uncle. Not drag him into the thick of things.
I think for the last few chapters you have describing why characters are doing things too much, like when Eve was wiping the mud off her face-of course she would! Any human would! This is understood, so you don't have to say so.
And I think that's the extent of my flame...yeah. I'm glad to hear Steve is (finally) dead, and I'm gonna guess it was either Joey/Ryan. Though Ryan was a bit too freaked out to make such a high accurate shot like that. Sean? Meh. And after Sean's fall, if he's not dead (THANK YOU!) then he is paralyzed, *sad face, sad face, sad face* Also, I think Joey is playing the hero too much to be realistic. Just saying.
Can't wait for the next chapter! Happy ending?
6brit02Jesus Lord, you like to turn the drama on HIGH. Shesh. Do you mine if I criticize a little though? First off, I think the characters are doing too much thinking. In high action scenes like this, it is usually better to do it in third person (I know your story is in first person, but scenes like this would have been better in third) as that way you can describe what is actually happening and because in high action characters tend to go more on adrenaline than thinking. Also, I think for these scenes it would have been more effective to have less characters. You are too all over the place trying to account for all the characters. Also, regarding the injured people:
-Cole. He should be passed out, and if not, then the others should have carried him off to the police and ambulances as soon as Steve turned his attention on Adam.
-Sean and Adam: any reasonable person would have grabbed his brother, hidden him/ seen the police and take him to them, THEN maybe confront his crazy uncle. Not drag him into the thick of things.
I think for the last few chapters you have describing why characters are doing things too much, like when Eve was wiping the mud off her face-of course she would! Any human would! This is understood, so you don't have to say so.
And I think that's the extent of my flame...yeah. I'm glad to hear Steve is (finally) dead, and I'm gonna guess it was either Joey/Ryan. Though Ryan was a bit too freaked out to make such a high accurate shot like that. Sean? Meh. And after Sean's fall, if he's not dead (THANK YOU!) then he is paralyzed, *sad face, sad face, sad face* Also, I think Joey is playing the hero too much to be realistic. Just saying.
Can't wait for the next chapter! Happy ending?
11/18/2010 c39 fullybooked
Oh m Gosh? He's really dead?
Is he dead? My gosh what a way to leave a chapter! Hope you can update soon or the suspense is going to kill me! I honestly don't believe his dead. That would be so sad if anyone dies I mean you let us vote but that didn't we want that to happen!
Oh m Gosh? He's really dead?
Is he dead? My gosh what a way to leave a chapter! Hope you can update soon or the suspense is going to kill me! I honestly don't believe his dead. That would be so sad if anyone dies I mean you let us vote but that didn't we want that to happen!
11/13/2010 c39 Evil Dr. Yoho
Everyone pointed this out already, so should I? Hmm...
Yes I will.
WHY DID YOU SHOOT/KILL SEAN? WHY? You just love to make me sad, don't you? Why is it that your stories are the only ones I've ever read where I actually like characters enough to get this upset when they DIE? Or...almost die. Or fall off bridges/cliffs/rooftops and get brutally injured. Grr!
But other than killing yet another beloved character of every reader that ever clicked on your story, this chapter was good. Please don't take too long to update again. Who knows what will happen to me if I have to wait too long to find out what happens?
Everyone pointed this out already, so should I? Hmm...
Yes I will.
WHY DID YOU SHOOT/KILL SEAN? WHY? You just love to make me sad, don't you? Why is it that your stories are the only ones I've ever read where I actually like characters enough to get this upset when they DIE? Or...almost die. Or fall off bridges/cliffs/rooftops and get brutally injured. Grr!
But other than killing yet another beloved character of every reader that ever clicked on your story, this chapter was good. Please don't take too long to update again. Who knows what will happen to me if I have to wait too long to find out what happens?
11/11/2010 c39 3Emmalia and Kaitlyn
wait so... Sean's dead?
I. Am. Going. To. KILL. YOU!
SEAN CANT DIE! HE JUSt... CANt. You better not let him die or i will find you and haunt you for the REST. of you. LIFE. JB
PS. Why do you kill people in your stories. I dont see how you do it. I can only kill people i dont like.
3Emmalia and Kaitlynwait so... Sean's dead?
I. Am. Going. To. KILL. YOU!
SEAN CANT DIE! HE JUSt... CANt. You better not let him die or i will find you and haunt you for the REST. of you. LIFE. JB
PS. Why do you kill people in your stories. I dont see how you do it. I can only kill people i dont like.
11/10/2010 c39 I 3 JD
No! Not Sean! Why? D: You should know by now not to listen to us. We already killed Garrett and you liked him, so why hurt yourself even more by killing Sean? True, he'll be paralyzed if he lives through this...but it's better than being dead! Please don't do this to us! Please find it in the heart I thought you had to keep him alive! I never get this worked up, so take that as a hint that the choice you made is really upsetting. Please please PLEASE don't kill him! Or Adam. Eve needs him!
No! Not Sean! Why? D: You should know by now not to listen to us. We already killed Garrett and you liked him, so why hurt yourself even more by killing Sean? True, he'll be paralyzed if he lives through this...but it's better than being dead! Please don't do this to us! Please find it in the heart I thought you had to keep him alive! I never get this worked up, so take that as a hint that the choice you made is really upsetting. Please please PLEASE don't kill him! Or Adam. Eve needs him!
11/9/2010 c39 1danni-loves-too-reid
Im GONNA FIND YOU AND KILL YOU ! BOMB YOUR HOUSE ! SHOOT YOU A THOSAND TImeS ! && wHEN YOU CRY FOR FORGivNESS ILL READ YoU YOUR STORY ! && SHOOT YOU AGAIN! HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO KILL HIM ! iF HE DOES LIVE SOMEHOW HE'LL BE PARALZED ! MOTHER FUCKER OF HELL! AND NOW ADAM HAS GONE A;; SUICIDAL !
1danni-loves-too-reidIm GONNA FIND YOU AND KILL YOU ! BOMB YOUR HOUSE ! SHOOT YOU A THOSAND TImeS ! && wHEN YOU CRY FOR FORGivNESS ILL READ YoU YOUR STORY ! && SHOOT YOU AGAIN! HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO KILL HIM ! iF HE DOES LIVE SOMEHOW HE'LL BE PARALZED ! MOTHER FUCKER OF HELL! AND NOW ADAM HAS GONE A;; SUICIDAL !
11/7/2010 c39 3J.S Heya
Hm... you killed Sean. Really I don't know what to say. But I wish you did something to Eve...it'd be lovely to lay off the Parker (or Tarentella whatever!) twins and do something to the jewel they can't live without (or in this case Adam can't live without). What? It's either Steve is immortal or he's really good a dodging bullets :D I like him! Well, your fate is undecided still. But I guess you can relax a little bit since I am not one of the people who will kill you since you updated so slow.
3J.S HeyaHm... you killed Sean. Really I don't know what to say. But I wish you did something to Eve...it'd be lovely to lay off the Parker (or Tarentella whatever!) twins and do something to the jewel they can't live without (or in this case Adam can't live without). What? It's either Steve is immortal or he's really good a dodging bullets :D I like him! Well, your fate is undecided still. But I guess you can relax a little bit since I am not one of the people who will kill you since you updated so slow.
11/7/2010 c39 2bridgettblah
OMG I cried you JERK! LOL I'm kidding about the jerk thing, your not a jerk Just mean. But also. COMPLETELY FRIGGEN AWESOME! UGH! If you kill Sean, AND Adam, I will kill you. No hesitations. Got it? lol Update SOON
2bridgettblahOMG I cried you JERK! LOL I'm kidding about the jerk thing, your not a jerk Just mean. But also. COMPLETELY FRIGGEN AWESOME! UGH! If you kill Sean, AND Adam, I will kill you. No hesitations. Got it? lol Update SOON
11/7/2010 c39 6brit02
I EFFIN HATE U RIGHT NOW. And if Sean comes outta that alive, and relative;y unhurt, I will question your view of reality :S
Yes, I am enjoying college life a heck of a lot but I now have such little time to write, and I'm sure all my readers hate me now :S
And I still hate you!
6brit02I EFFIN HATE U RIGHT NOW. And if Sean comes outta that alive, and relative;y unhurt, I will question your view of reality :S
Yes, I am enjoying college life a heck of a lot but I now have such little time to write, and I'm sure all my readers hate me now :S
And I still hate you!
11/7/2010 c39 4Alexilaihorox
I only have one thing to say AmazingGrace91: RUN!
How? How could you? D: I cried...am CRYING! Please don't kill him! Please! Regardless of what us stupid fans said, please find it in your heart to let Sean live! Pwease? He can't die...really. T.T That would be just so...so...MEAN DX
As for everything else...I liked it overall. Yay for Joey! XD He's so awesome haha And...please don't drown Adam. He has to live too, okay? Please? You can't take them both from me! DX
Well...with that said...I really hope you update soon because I NEED TO KNOW what will happen to them! D:
4AlexilaihoroxI only have one thing to say AmazingGrace91: RUN!
How? How could you? D: I cried...am CRYING! Please don't kill him! Please! Regardless of what us stupid fans said, please find it in your heart to let Sean live! Pwease? He can't die...really. T.T That would be just so...so...MEAN DX
As for everything else...I liked it overall. Yay for Joey! XD He's so awesome haha And...please don't drown Adam. He has to live too, okay? Please? You can't take them both from me! DX
Well...with that said...I really hope you update soon because I NEED TO KNOW what will happen to them! D:
11/7/2010 c2 pancake rulez
OMG dun dun dun.
Sean and that guy are twins!
Woah. I am lovin your story very verry much.
OMG dun dun dun.
Sean and that guy are twins!
Woah. I am lovin your story very verry much.
11/7/2010 c39 InsecureButFun
omg, loved it! Totally hope Sean doesn't die. Can't wait for the update.
-Sami
omg, loved it! Totally hope Sean doesn't die. Can't wait for the update.
-Sami
11/6/2010 c39 ScribbledLoves
NO! Why are you doing this to me? You shoot Sean, Adam jumps off and Steve is proven to be even more of a soulless bastard! It's as if you like to torture me :b. So, I definetely noticed that college has made you wiser. Your writing is amazing. I could barely keep up with the whole fight scene. I do this thing where I like to visualize the story to improve my writing and my mental picture was completely blurry as I tried to comphrend everything. Lol. That's a good thing, btw. Please let Adam live. And let Sean live. And Eve. Just, stop killing everybody. Lol. Think of it this way, everytime somebody dies in this story, my heart breaks a little. Hehe, wanna stop breaking my heart? Lol. Amazing as always!
NO! Why are you doing this to me? You shoot Sean, Adam jumps off and Steve is proven to be even more of a soulless bastard! It's as if you like to torture me :b. So, I definetely noticed that college has made you wiser. Your writing is amazing. I could barely keep up with the whole fight scene. I do this thing where I like to visualize the story to improve my writing and my mental picture was completely blurry as I tried to comphrend everything. Lol. That's a good thing, btw. Please let Adam live. And let Sean live. And Eve. Just, stop killing everybody. Lol. Think of it this way, everytime somebody dies in this story, my heart breaks a little. Hehe, wanna stop breaking my heart? Lol. Amazing as always!