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3/7/2010 c1 Saya22
Fun start I am ready for more. Your dialogue is good but when you switch to describing the scene it gets a little flat. You might try watching "Dark Angel" You can find it online it is a TV show with a similar set up.
1/9/2010 c1 5Sashtell
I like it so far.I'm going to read and get to know the characters... so my next review (hopefully) can be long.
12/21/2009 c9 1Arcae
It's good, I'm liking where the story is going.

Oh and my inner nerd wants to tell you that on the last sentence where you wrote: 'I looked around, and seen a door' it should be 'saw a door' =)
12/20/2009 c6 Arcae
I must read the next chapter haha.

Just one thing, There's a spelling mistake that happens a few times.

The word 'there' should sometimes be spelt they're. I haven't got an example off the top of my head lol, sorry.

Apart from that I'm really liking where the story is heading. Can't wait to read more =D

If you like a bit of Sci-Fi and mystery, you should read my story Revolutions to Resolutions
12/20/2009 c3 Arcae
Want to read more so keep it coming =D
12/18/2009 c1 7Black.Mystery.Eyes
i liked it :P

it was cute
12/18/2009 c1 1Arcae
Yeah this is really good.

One or two spelling mistakes which my inner nerd is screaming out for you to fix haha, just ignore him, I do =P

But so far it's pretty good, and I would love to read more into this story.
12/18/2009 c1 11Caoimhe Rose
it was really great! i can't wait to read the rest of the story! please update soon.
12/18/2009 c1 Gina
Seems fine, just little errors- nothing to get excited about. Except you spelled 'surveyed' as survaid. Might want to change that...

Love love! -Gina
12/18/2009 c1 CandiedApples
I think its really cute but tragic in a way. I like it, Hope to see you update soon.

~Meli

P.S my message thing is disabled because im a new user so if you reply i will not be able to reply untill i get that working. sorry!

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