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for Passions of the Day

2/5/2011 c1 this wild abyss
I liked the idea of this piece quite a bit. It was empowering, and your word choice really heightened the reading experiences. You phrased this elegantly and really worked well with imagery and tone, giving the piece a cohesive feel.

However, I didn’t really think that your capitalization of the pronouns ‘he’ and ‘she’ was called for. It seemed a little indulgent, and I personally found it to be distracting. In some cases, I understand why you would want to emphasize those words, but here I didn’t think it was a needed measure.

P.S. Check out the Review Marathon! (Link in profile)
12/21/2009 c1 23fatbird33
this was so beautiful

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