for Befuzzled12/23/2009 c1 
24Ravina
I liked this - good job!
There was one thing I wasn't clear on though...was this their first time sleeping together? A later paragraph makes me think otherwise, but I thought at the beginning that it was their first time. So I guess my only critique is to say you should clarify that earlier on.
- Rebekah
24RavinaI liked this - good job!
There was one thing I wasn't clear on though...was this their first time sleeping together? A later paragraph makes me think otherwise, but I thought at the beginning that it was their first time. So I guess my only critique is to say you should clarify that earlier on.
- Rebekah
12/23/2009 c1 14Beautiful Destination
This was cute :) I want a Hunter, too, and the narrator's insecurities are very understandable. Good job!
14Beautiful DestinationThis was cute :) I want a Hunter, too, and the narrator's insecurities are very understandable. Good job!