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for The Breaking of Hearts

1/22/2010 c6 twilight24
ha, everytime Drew stared at her, I wondered whether he was still interested in her as more then just a friend. And he's a really good friend. He didnt get all awkward after seeing her cry a bit.
1/21/2010 c6 5eaststar
Great Chapter! Can't wait till the party!
1/15/2010 c5 twilight24
Aw, I like Drew! He's so sweet and nice. And Melanie's really nice too. She's a good friend. She knows Allie's reputation around school, and still she hangs around her and helps her out.
1/9/2010 c2 BearvsCobra
Hi, I like the story, but i think if you made the character a little bit more relatable viewers might enjoy it more. Everyone has insecurities, so the main character talking how her body is "perfect" is a little off-putting. I suggest, maybe she has freckles and she hates them. But most people find freckles fine. Do you get what i mean? I'm sorry i rambled.

1/9/2010 c5 4LaMeO1
can't wait to read the next chapter

melanie is pretty entertaining and seems like a good friend for alli.

drew is pretty cool too.

if she goes looking like her old self to the party she would shock them all. i'm excited to read it.

nice chapter

update soon!


p.s: i could beta for you if you liked. it's cool if you don't want me to though =]
1/9/2010 c5 5eaststar
Hm... this chapter could be something like "Of Old sweats, Pink Bras, and Spilled Ravioli"-You can take three items from each chapter to name it. Great chapter+good luck with the naming! Can't wait till the next chapter!
1/3/2010 c4 twilight24
Aw, I like Drew. He's a good friend to be hanging out with even after his friends said all that about her. Hopefully he'll be able to convince her to wear clothes that are normal even if they're not the best. And maybe the best way for her to put James down would be to play him the way he plays others.
1/2/2010 c4 eaststar
That was a good chapter. And I think that everyone could use a beta. A different perspective can really help a story!
1/1/2010 c3 4LaMeO1
this story has me insanely excited...i really like it

it seems to be flowing quite nicely

i like that she used to be "that girl" at her old school...can't wait for when she shows that at this one

nice chapter

update soon please!

12/31/2009 c2 twilight24
Oh, james got on my nerves there...rude people just irk me. Haha, and I thought the little "drama" between Rachel and Alli was funny. And the whole thing with Melanie being ew and asking to sit with Alli reminded me of this one movie I saw...I think it was "Speak." The new girl int here was one of the cool girls too and she asked the social outcast of the school if she could sit with her on the first day too. But the storyline for this story is different then the plot of that movie. But yeah, nice beginning.
12/31/2009 c2 5eaststar
Firstly, this is NOT horrible! (*That just might be the reason I'm reading this*) I loved this chapter, you brought the mean girl in, and provided a "mysterious and alluring past" to Annie. ( I was jk-I mean't Allie ) Great job + I can't wait till the next chapter!
12/30/2009 c1 eaststar
I love these type of stories! Looks like a fun read! Looking forward to the next chapter!
12/30/2009 c1 1Narsha
This didn't suck at all. It actually got me quite interested in the story. I'm definitely coming back for the second chapter whenever it's posted. This looks like it has the potential to be a really great story.
12/30/2009 c1 36rockettwriter4
i dont think this was bad at all! just if it was a little longer i think it would have been better. i like the beginning when you introduce it like, "welcome to the land of high school"...just remember in the other chapters and the rest (if you keep writing it) to throw in some surprises and things that people won't be anticipating that much. overall, i think this was a good start so keep it up!
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