for The Breaking of Hearts6/15/2010 c12 
2ColieM88
LOVE the chapter! Lol. ;) as for the...sex scenes... thats what im for as your beta! Lol. REally, I do write killer ones, if you want one in here. Example of one can be found on fanfiction/ ~ colie88 my story, ONE STEP AT A TIME, chapter named, "Why Don't We Just Dance?" ( i think its that chapter! lol) in the middle of it. Take a look if you want! :D
2ColieM88LOVE the chapter! Lol. ;) as for the...sex scenes... thats what im for as your beta! Lol. REally, I do write killer ones, if you want one in here. Example of one can be found on fanfiction/ ~ colie88 my story, ONE STEP AT A TIME, chapter named, "Why Don't We Just Dance?" ( i think its that chapter! lol) in the middle of it. Take a look if you want! :D
6/15/2010 c12 truebleu
I have a huge feeling that I am going to hate Mel in the very near future.
Your story is absolutely amazing.
I have a huge feeling that I am going to hate Mel in the very near future.
Your story is absolutely amazing.
6/15/2010 c12 xspringdaizyx
HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP! i loved this chapter so much. i liked the continuous change of views too :)
HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP! i loved this chapter so much. i liked the continuous change of views too :)
6/15/2010 c12 lovevictim
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I think i'm having a panic attack, i really hope Drew goes up and talks to her and doesn't just assume stuff, please don't do this to me, or i'm warning you, the flood that will occur will be completly your faut lol.
I have to say this is my fav update, you know why *ahem* *ahem* Drew/Alli kiss *blushing* how cute ! I love them:)But it's also kind of heartbreaking, i mean there's already trouble in pardise :(
Btw that was really sweet of James, him not taking advantage of Alli was quite surprising but a good surprise nontheless :) he's not so bad afterall, but that doesn't mean i want him with Alli now, i'm still a true Drelli-ian fan (Drelli-ian, sounds kinda weird doesn't it? eh *shrugs* oh well) GO TEAM DRELLI-IAN! Lmao.
Brill update ! ...
Continue, i'll be waiting for an awesome update, maybe with Drew Alli romance, if i don't get any, i might just have to throw some tomotoes at you, and that to icky ones lol :)
PS. Brill is short for Brilliant, it's not exactly fancy, just a sign of laziness lol.
PSS. I HATE RACHEL! lmao.(i thought i'll just inform you he he)
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I think i'm having a panic attack, i really hope Drew goes up and talks to her and doesn't just assume stuff, please don't do this to me, or i'm warning you, the flood that will occur will be completly your faut lol.
I have to say this is my fav update, you know why *ahem* *ahem* Drew/Alli kiss *blushing* how cute ! I love them:)But it's also kind of heartbreaking, i mean there's already trouble in pardise :(
Btw that was really sweet of James, him not taking advantage of Alli was quite surprising but a good surprise nontheless :) he's not so bad afterall, but that doesn't mean i want him with Alli now, i'm still a true Drelli-ian fan (Drelli-ian, sounds kinda weird doesn't it? eh *shrugs* oh well) GO TEAM DRELLI-IAN! Lmao.
Brill update ! ...
Continue, i'll be waiting for an awesome update, maybe with Drew Alli romance, if i don't get any, i might just have to throw some tomotoes at you, and that to icky ones lol :)
PS. Brill is short for Brilliant, it's not exactly fancy, just a sign of laziness lol.
PSS. I HATE RACHEL! lmao.(i thought i'll just inform you he he)
6/13/2010 c11 lovevictim
I hate you, i love you really but i hate you LOL, my poor chweetheart Drew, was he date-less? if he was your cruel how can you make him go to the winter formal without a date *wiping off my tears*
Ooh btw i felt some jealousy radiating off Drew, he certainly has some feelings for Alli, aww i feel so sorry for him *whole new batch of tears falling down from my eyes*
Ah so the game begins, i really hope she doesn't end up falling in love with James :(
Good to see that her plan is working so far, really James is way too gullible, can't he see that she is messing with him, or is he really that cocky that he's become blind LOL, Jeez he'll be way to easy to bring down Lmao.
Anyways another brill update *clapping* you really know how your readers entertained, and gripped.
Oh btw i've realised i hardly say anything about Mel in my reviews, she's a complete sweetheart, such a nice friend, but if you decide to couple her up with Drew i will hate her, and don't think i won't LOL.
Drew/Alli rock my socks ! he he
bye bye :)
p.s : i think two update a week is nothing, you should update more for us selfish readers, you know you want to lol
I hate you, i love you really but i hate you LOL, my poor chweetheart Drew, was he date-less? if he was your cruel how can you make him go to the winter formal without a date *wiping off my tears*
Ooh btw i felt some jealousy radiating off Drew, he certainly has some feelings for Alli, aww i feel so sorry for him *whole new batch of tears falling down from my eyes*
Ah so the game begins, i really hope she doesn't end up falling in love with James :(
Good to see that her plan is working so far, really James is way too gullible, can't he see that she is messing with him, or is he really that cocky that he's become blind LOL, Jeez he'll be way to easy to bring down Lmao.
Anyways another brill update *clapping* you really know how your readers entertained, and gripped.
Oh btw i've realised i hardly say anything about Mel in my reviews, she's a complete sweetheart, such a nice friend, but if you decide to couple her up with Drew i will hate her, and don't think i won't LOL.
Drew/Alli rock my socks ! he he
bye bye :)
p.s : i think two update a week is nothing, you should update more for us selfish readers, you know you want to lol
6/11/2010 c11 9Evangeline Elibeth Mariette
So, it's like 2:14 a.m. and I've been thinking. Scary? Not at all. What I've come up with is that, yes, if Alli were to somewhere along the way fall for James and then he makes some sort of amazing change, that would suck balls. It's too expected. She should totally go for the whole heartless bitch deal, feed him his medicine, cure him, then give him the bill. Get the check paid in his broken heart. Then Alli should end up with Drew, even though that might be a bit expected... But it would be okay since the other part was NOT expected... And anyway,about Drew, I just realized I have no clue what he is supposed to look like...
Furthermore, I do agree that James isn't a bad guy. Just a sorely misguided one. Hope this helped in some form or another. :)
9Evangeline Elibeth MarietteSo, it's like 2:14 a.m. and I've been thinking. Scary? Not at all. What I've come up with is that, yes, if Alli were to somewhere along the way fall for James and then he makes some sort of amazing change, that would suck balls. It's too expected. She should totally go for the whole heartless bitch deal, feed him his medicine, cure him, then give him the bill. Get the check paid in his broken heart. Then Alli should end up with Drew, even though that might be a bit expected... But it would be okay since the other part was NOT expected... And anyway,about Drew, I just realized I have no clue what he is supposed to look like...
Furthermore, I do agree that James isn't a bad guy. Just a sorely misguided one. Hope this helped in some form or another. :)
6/10/2010 c11 35peaceloverocknroll21
yay for the quick update! i liked this but i wish you would have made the dance a bit longer. what's up with dave and mel? drew's jealous, that's kinda obvious. but there should have been more on that. did he bring a date, or what? looking forward to the next chapter as always. also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! in advance of course.
35peaceloverocknroll21yay for the quick update! i liked this but i wish you would have made the dance a bit longer. what's up with dave and mel? drew's jealous, that's kinda obvious. but there should have been more on that. did he bring a date, or what? looking forward to the next chapter as always. also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! in advance of course.
6/10/2010 c11 211cina24
Hah, ch'yes!
Hmm, how would she end up with Drew if she's going to be playing James, and everyone will think they're dating?
Toughy...
Yes, I noticed that there was a lot of dialogue. But no matter, it was still a good chapter.
It seemed a bit rushed but that's okay(:
Good job!
211cina24Hah, ch'yes!
Hmm, how would she end up with Drew if she's going to be playing James, and everyone will think they're dating?
Toughy...
Yes, I noticed that there was a lot of dialogue. But no matter, it was still a good chapter.
It seemed a bit rushed but that's okay(:
Good job!
6/10/2010 c1 hn
I hate stories like this. You take a fucking punk player and make him seem like a good guy even though he hurts girls emotionally.
I hate stories like this. You take a fucking punk player and make him seem like a good guy even though he hurts girls emotionally.
6/9/2010 c10 Pseudonym59
Hm... I have one suggestion for you (well, maybe two or three, depending on if I think of any along the way). I think that James is coming on a little too strong how he's asking Alli out what seems like every few hours or every day. It's a bit strange and out of character, considering that he's supposedly a player ruled by his hormones - my point is, if he's asking her out left and right, it'd be more realistic if he worked some good sexual inneudos into it (even if this is a fiction story. And gosh, I'm like obsessed with perverted comments. They're just so funny though...).
Plus, he kind of seems insecure and flowery, how he keeps reassuring himself that he's "James Blackwell - liscence to thrill". So, mainly, I think that James needs to have more depth to him. He doesn't really seem like the player described in the summary. Describe some of his exploits.
Sorry if it seems like I'm bringing you down, but we're at the point in the story where the depth to the storyline and characters seems like a bottomless pit - or at least close to it.
On the positive, Alli's character is coming along nicely. Try to explain her devious plan though. Alli's a very likeable person. :) I'm interested in reading more of their project together. *wink wink*
And yes, I did realize I'd have to wait too. *cough* not really *cough*
GASP! I WANTED TO BE THE 100TH REVIEWER! :P :P
Hm... I have one suggestion for you (well, maybe two or three, depending on if I think of any along the way). I think that James is coming on a little too strong how he's asking Alli out what seems like every few hours or every day. It's a bit strange and out of character, considering that he's supposedly a player ruled by his hormones - my point is, if he's asking her out left and right, it'd be more realistic if he worked some good sexual inneudos into it (even if this is a fiction story. And gosh, I'm like obsessed with perverted comments. They're just so funny though...).
Plus, he kind of seems insecure and flowery, how he keeps reassuring himself that he's "James Blackwell - liscence to thrill". So, mainly, I think that James needs to have more depth to him. He doesn't really seem like the player described in the summary. Describe some of his exploits.
Sorry if it seems like I'm bringing you down, but we're at the point in the story where the depth to the storyline and characters seems like a bottomless pit - or at least close to it.
On the positive, Alli's character is coming along nicely. Try to explain her devious plan though. Alli's a very likeable person. :) I'm interested in reading more of their project together. *wink wink*
And yes, I did realize I'd have to wait too. *cough* not really *cough*
GASP! I WANTED TO BE THE 100TH REVIEWER! :P :P
6/9/2010 c10 lovevictim
OMG i could just feel my heart breaking, if you hear a loud shattering noise it's my heart btw lol. Ooh i just realised how apt this title is, someone or the other is going to end up with their heartbroken in this story *sniff* *sniff* lol random isn't it, lol i'm kinda random.
Anyways i've realised something else aswell, that you probably think that i hate James guts, well honestly speaking i don't hate James, i just hate the way he acts all cool and thinks he's the best thing around, and also the fact that he plays around with girls not caring about their feelings. Other than that i know James is a good person, he's a nice guy from heart and we can see that nice-ness coming out on occasions, for example in the rain at the park when James came back for Alli and when he gave her a lift home, that was really sweet of him, but that doesn't mean all of a sudden i want Alli and James together.
I've always felt that a relationship is based on trust, and Alli saw what James is like, so trusting him would be hard for her, and a relationship going through trust issues are easily breakable, and another thing he's a player has always been one, even if he falls in love with Alli in the future what's the garantee that he'll stay faithful.
he he i got carried away, i forgot it was a story for a moment there, but anyways Drew/Alli rock! lol i just had to say that.
continue continue continue, i'm waiting.
OMG i could just feel my heart breaking, if you hear a loud shattering noise it's my heart btw lol. Ooh i just realised how apt this title is, someone or the other is going to end up with their heartbroken in this story *sniff* *sniff* lol random isn't it, lol i'm kinda random.
Anyways i've realised something else aswell, that you probably think that i hate James guts, well honestly speaking i don't hate James, i just hate the way he acts all cool and thinks he's the best thing around, and also the fact that he plays around with girls not caring about their feelings. Other than that i know James is a good person, he's a nice guy from heart and we can see that nice-ness coming out on occasions, for example in the rain at the park when James came back for Alli and when he gave her a lift home, that was really sweet of him, but that doesn't mean all of a sudden i want Alli and James together.
I've always felt that a relationship is based on trust, and Alli saw what James is like, so trusting him would be hard for her, and a relationship going through trust issues are easily breakable, and another thing he's a player has always been one, even if he falls in love with Alli in the future what's the garantee that he'll stay faithful.
he he i got carried away, i forgot it was a story for a moment there, but anyways Drew/Alli rock! lol i just had to say that.
continue continue continue, i'm waiting.
6/8/2010 c10 4LaMeO1
no i did not die
i am the WORST beta EVER!
so sorry!
my internet died and so i only had the internet off of my phone and then when it came back on my emails had built up so SORRY!
feel free to shoot me.
this was a great chapter. i like how you brought in their project and how alli is going to mess with james at winter formal
brilliant!
4LaMeO1no i did not die
i am the WORST beta EVER!
so sorry!
my internet died and so i only had the internet off of my phone and then when it came back on my emails had built up so SORRY!
feel free to shoot me.
this was a great chapter. i like how you brought in their project and how alli is going to mess with james at winter formal
brilliant!