for It's over2/21/2010 c1 
612simpleplan13
"Why do those that opt for death/Is still here?"... The phrasing here is wrong. You can't use is with why do those opt. Maybe remain here still or something like that?
The explanation marks seemed oddly placed. I didn't get why you'd be excited about those things.
Anyway, I liked the piece. It was very sad. I also liked the ending. The soon makes you wonder what exactly the narrator is thinking.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile.)
612simpleplan13"Why do those that opt for death/Is still here?"... The phrasing here is wrong. You can't use is with why do those opt. Maybe remain here still or something like that?
The explanation marks seemed oddly placed. I didn't get why you'd be excited about those things.
Anyway, I liked the piece. It was very sad. I also liked the ending. The soon makes you wonder what exactly the narrator is thinking.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile.)
1/4/2010 c1 6Yoron
Now SV. It's time you tried to write a story.
And get a little kick in the but :)
Get out and do something fun. Buy yourself a book, or a magazine, sit down where it's people around you and be the rich and mysterious Zaza.
Yep, sunglasses is a must for this character.
And stop giving death so much importance. It's what comes to us all, nothing more. Sh* Zaza, out and breath will'ya.
I'm sorry for your uncle though, but it's life. So there's a mall somewhere just calling for your refined taste. Go show them what real shopping is :) And. . .
Ah, well.
As for why certain people die and others don't?
It's not their time VS. You have a lot of living to do yet.
So go out and f*ng get on with it, stop being obsessed about death.
It's f*ng life, even death is my dear.
But you're cool SV :)
6YoronNow SV. It's time you tried to write a story.
And get a little kick in the but :)
Get out and do something fun. Buy yourself a book, or a magazine, sit down where it's people around you and be the rich and mysterious Zaza.
Yep, sunglasses is a must for this character.
And stop giving death so much importance. It's what comes to us all, nothing more. Sh* Zaza, out and breath will'ya.
I'm sorry for your uncle though, but it's life. So there's a mall somewhere just calling for your refined taste. Go show them what real shopping is :) And. . .
Ah, well.
As for why certain people die and others don't?
It's not their time VS. You have a lot of living to do yet.
So go out and f*ng get on with it, stop being obsessed about death.
It's f*ng life, even death is my dear.
But you're cool SV :)