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5/8/2001 c1 Lyanna
You are trying to make this a horror story by adding words like "evil look in his eyes" while you are talking about a plain schoolteacher. It doesn't work that way I am afraid. This is more of a mystery story. The idea is good, but you should have tried to expand it a bit instead of blurting everything out in one big heap.

You should also try to practice a bit on your writing. Your ideas are good, but the package is rambling a bit. Do keep trying!
5/6/2001 c1 Markie
You had a great start, but the end was kind of predictable. This story isn't horror it's mystery. (Though I wasn't mystified). You should work on your writing skills, a bit (like the sixth paragraph, one word: Rewrite!). The chapter title doesn't go with the chapter. Anyway, e-mail me and we could talk. Serious business.
5/6/2001 c1 5Daoloth
I don't see how this is horror, sorry. The writing is also a bit simplistic at times.

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