8/16/2012 c1 Guest
lol :) hahaha
lol :) hahaha
8/13/2012 c38 3Tigrah
Wow good job loved the story even if it was a little gross sometimes. ;P I hope the sequel is just as good as this was. I very much enjoyed your writing so thankies! :D
Wow good job loved the story even if it was a little gross sometimes. ;P I hope the sequel is just as good as this was. I very much enjoyed your writing so thankies! :D
7/25/2012 c4 saritta
your grammar is shit. there are so many mistakes in all of these chapters. You really should have reread this beforehand
your grammar is shit. there are so many mistakes in all of these chapters. You really should have reread this beforehand
7/17/2012 c13 Guest
this book is awesome
this book is awesome
6/28/2012 c37 5Little Infinities
I am sad to say that I never finished this story. It dragged on too long with unnecessary details, and I started to become bored. I wish that I am not the only one and that all the other readers find this story good. I'm really sorry, it seemed like such an awesome story. Don't take this a flame. Take it as some advice and try to improve in this area. And if I do pick up on this story again, I swear to God I will finish the whole thing and never write a review like this again.
I am sad to say that I never finished this story. It dragged on too long with unnecessary details, and I started to become bored. I wish that I am not the only one and that all the other readers find this story good. I'm really sorry, it seemed like such an awesome story. Don't take this a flame. Take it as some advice and try to improve in this area. And if I do pick up on this story again, I swear to God I will finish the whole thing and never write a review like this again.
6/26/2012 c30 5Lionblaze and Jayfeather
I've been reading your story like one or two chapters every day before going to sleep and I'm telling you, you just got me hooked. It's just really well-done written. I wish I could write something like you, you've got so much talent. I hope you never waste it on stuff you don't like. You're really talentive and I'm sure you'll get published one day if you wish. Anyway, I just felt like I had to tell you that I really love your story.
I know this is just details, but everytime I read it, Colton reminds me of Colton Hayes, he plays in Teen Wolf and I just hate this guy so sometimes I really feel like punching him bad, but in a way, it's a good thing because you really make everything look like it's real. I mean, the fights, the talks, everything, it just feels truthful.
So I just want to thank you for writing that story, I enjoyed it (even if I haven't finished reading it yet).
I've been reading your story like one or two chapters every day before going to sleep and I'm telling you, you just got me hooked. It's just really well-done written. I wish I could write something like you, you've got so much talent. I hope you never waste it on stuff you don't like. You're really talentive and I'm sure you'll get published one day if you wish. Anyway, I just felt like I had to tell you that I really love your story.
I know this is just details, but everytime I read it, Colton reminds me of Colton Hayes, he plays in Teen Wolf and I just hate this guy so sometimes I really feel like punching him bad, but in a way, it's a good thing because you really make everything look like it's real. I mean, the fights, the talks, everything, it just feels truthful.
So I just want to thank you for writing that story, I enjoyed it (even if I haven't finished reading it yet).
6/15/2012 c4 1Fanimation Danimation
I have nothing to say about this chappie, rather than...I COMPLETELY ENJOYED IT! I'm seriously starting to form a master plan to kidnap Raine! Your sentences are flowing better, just a little more work. All and all, great chappie.
CHOW
I have nothing to say about this chappie, rather than...I COMPLETELY ENJOYED IT! I'm seriously starting to form a master plan to kidnap Raine! Your sentences are flowing better, just a little more work. All and all, great chappie.
CHOW
6/15/2012 c3 Fanimation Danimation
Let me just start off by saying, I'm not flamming, just giving my honest review.
1. Raine is the most cutest thing EVER! I just wanted to pick her up and put her in my pocket.
2. I love Colton and Raine's relationship. The little nickname she gave him, super duper cute.
Now, here's where I have to give you my dislikes.
I was enjoying little Raine, all the way until she started speaking. It sounds harsh, I know. I actually had to scroll up to make sure, I read her age right. I'm a lover of stories that are realistic as possible, no matter if it's fantasy or supernatural. She spoke to advance for her age, but then, you kinda dropped her IQ later on. I'm sorry, but I cringed.
It's almost over, don't worry...
I couldn't help but feel disappointed toward the end. The little make out section, where she almost goes the whole ten yards. I was expecting her to hold out MUCH longer, than the third chapter. Again, sorry to say this, but I wasn't feeling the make out scene. Foreplay is said to make the reader hotter, than the actual act of two characters 'doing it'.
I still like this story, it's still got me interested, because she didn't 'do it' with him. I most likely would have left, if they did.
Well...on to the next chapter.
CHOW
Let me just start off by saying, I'm not flamming, just giving my honest review.
1. Raine is the most cutest thing EVER! I just wanted to pick her up and put her in my pocket.
2. I love Colton and Raine's relationship. The little nickname she gave him, super duper cute.
Now, here's where I have to give you my dislikes.
I was enjoying little Raine, all the way until she started speaking. It sounds harsh, I know. I actually had to scroll up to make sure, I read her age right. I'm a lover of stories that are realistic as possible, no matter if it's fantasy or supernatural. She spoke to advance for her age, but then, you kinda dropped her IQ later on. I'm sorry, but I cringed.
It's almost over, don't worry...
I couldn't help but feel disappointed toward the end. The little make out section, where she almost goes the whole ten yards. I was expecting her to hold out MUCH longer, than the third chapter. Again, sorry to say this, but I wasn't feeling the make out scene. Foreplay is said to make the reader hotter, than the actual act of two characters 'doing it'.
I still like this story, it's still got me interested, because she didn't 'do it' with him. I most likely would have left, if they did.
Well...on to the next chapter.
CHOW
6/15/2012 c2 Fanimation Danimation
Max and Ten's relationship is cute! Now, I know we're all human, and we make mistakes. (I swear do) Since this is complete, I don't know, if you'll come back to. But, there are things you need to fix, nothing major, just simple things to make the sentences flow better/easier.
Another great chappie though.
CHOW
Max and Ten's relationship is cute! Now, I know we're all human, and we make mistakes. (I swear do) Since this is complete, I don't know, if you'll come back to. But, there are things you need to fix, nothing major, just simple things to make the sentences flow better/easier.
Another great chappie though.
CHOW